Kw-logo-smaller

Dear Dish-It: My Dad Always Overreacts

Dear Dish-It,

My dad is awesome! He loves to go out on fun trips like Lebanon and Dominican Republic! But sometimes I wish he would stop overreacting about everything. I mean, just now he dropped a bunch of coffee cups (because we own a business) and he got mad and yelled at me … then he kissed me as if nothing happened! It’s starting to get annoying – and I get scared when he yells. I tried talking to him but he raises his voice so I get scared again. What should I do?

scared and annoyed


Dear s&a,


In terms of your dad overreacting to stuff, that may just be the way he is. One of the hardest things in the world to do is to make someone change – especially after they’ve been or acted a certain way their whole lives. If you want to help your dad feel less stressed out and angry over the little things that happen in life, you can either talk to him about it (in a calm and gentle way, explain that you’re worried because he gets so worked up about the smallest little problems and incidents, and tell him that sometimes it scares you when he gets so worked up) or set a good example for him by not overreacting to things yourself. Maybe if you lead the way, you dad’s behavior will change?


The other thing is that even though he’s your father, your dad is a human being, just like you. Every one of us gets angry sometimes. The important thing to remember, though, is that anger doesn’t really solve anything. When your dad gets angry and overreacts or loses his temper, the main goal – for both you and him – is to calm him down and try to solve whatever problem is making him upset, whether it’s big or small. The worst possible thing for you to do when your dad is angry is egg him on or provoke him – in other words, you don’t want to do anything to make him more and more upset!


Finally, it sounds to me like your dad has a bit of a bad temper – that’s what causes him to overreact to small issues. Having a bad temper means acting very angry and out of control. The thing is, your dad, like I said before, is a person, and all people have a right to express their feelings – even angry ones. What’s not OK is to express those feelings in a way that hurts other people – physically or emotionally. If you feel like your dad is really hurting you beyond simply expressing his feelings – which he is allowed to do – then you should talk to another adult you trust about it.


Related Stories:

  • Dear Dish-It: Help Me Reduce Stress
  • Dear Dish-It: Coming Out To My Parents
  • Dear Dish-It: Disobeying My Dad
  • Dear Dish-It: Over-controlling Dad


  • 5 Comments

    latest videos

    F1063307885000

    What Does Your Dad Do For a Living?

    • He works in an office.
    • He's a tradesman - he's a real handy guy.
    • He's a con artist.
    • Who cares?

    related stories

    I just have a lot of problems this year. Anyways, my parents have been fighting and my brother's ...

    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    -Gwen9--
    -Gwen9-- posted in Friends:
    "jordand08" wrote:Thank you.You're welcome. :)
    reply about 4 hours
    donteatcarrots
    talk to the person you're closest too. yes, you said you don't get close with people, but there's probably one person who you speak to more often than others- talk to that person.
    reply about 6 hours
    donteatcarrots
    donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
    Don't worry too much- it's only your first relationship- but I'd sit down with him at one point, and discuss what makes you uncomfortable, eg; if you know what I mean...
    reply about 6 hours
    donteatcarrots
    donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
    Probably sound a little stereotypical, but the majority of boys don't really act like that... Ask him :p
    reply about 6 hours
    kittenkid
    First: WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T KILL YOUSELF! When you get past this you'll be glad. Well, this is just my opinion, but I think you should first find someone, anyone, even if you don't trust them, if there're your parents talk to them about it. I bet a bunch of people have already told you this but there're right. Before you walk up to them, write down what you're going to say and then think of a few questions they might ask and write down the answers to them. Remember to tell them that it might take you a minute to think of an answer. Before you answer, think of the exact words you will say  before you say anything, and think in your mind about it. Think about wether it is a lie or not before you say it. If it gets out of you mouth before you realize it is a lie, don't be afraid to say so and just say the truth. Also, just try to find something you like to do that will take your mind off everything. If you really can't think of anything, try just practicing saying your feelings to yourself, or a pillow or something.  Hope this helps!
    reply about 8 hours

    play online games