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Dear Dish-It: My Dad Always Overreacts

Dear Dish-It,

My dad is awesome! He loves to go out on fun trips like Lebanon and Dominican Republic! But sometimes I wish he would stop overreacting about everything. I mean, just now he dropped a bunch of coffee cups (because we own a business) and he got mad and yelled at me … then he kissed me as if nothing happened! It’s starting to get annoying – and I get scared when he yells. I tried talking to him but he raises his voice so I get scared again. What should I do?

scared and annoyed


Dear s&a,


In terms of your dad overreacting to stuff, that may just be the way he is. One of the hardest things in the world to do is to make someone change – especially after they’ve been or acted a certain way their whole lives. If you want to help your dad feel less stressed out and angry over the little things that happen in life, you can either talk to him about it (in a calm and gentle way, explain that you’re worried because he gets so worked up about the smallest little problems and incidents, and tell him that sometimes it scares you when he gets so worked up) or set a good example for him by not overreacting to things yourself. Maybe if you lead the way, you dad’s behavior will change?


The other thing is that even though he’s your father, your dad is a human being, just like you. Every one of us gets angry sometimes. The important thing to remember, though, is that anger doesn’t really solve anything. When your dad gets angry and overreacts or loses his temper, the main goal – for both you and him – is to calm him down and try to solve whatever problem is making him upset, whether it’s big or small. The worst possible thing for you to do when your dad is angry is egg him on or provoke him – in other words, you don’t want to do anything to make him more and more upset!


Finally, it sounds to me like your dad has a bit of a bad temper – that’s what causes him to overreact to small issues. Having a bad temper means acting very angry and out of control. The thing is, your dad, like I said before, is a person, and all people have a right to express their feelings – even angry ones. What’s not OK is to express those feelings in a way that hurts other people – physically or emotionally. If you feel like your dad is really hurting you beyond simply expressing his feelings – which he is allowed to do – then you should talk to another adult you trust about it.


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  • Dear Dish-It: Over-controlling Dad


  • 5 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    rainbowpoptart
    Goodness... I see where your mother is coming from: if you eat too much, no matter how healthy the food is, and don't work off the calories, you're going to gain weight. But she's being very obsessive and dramatic about it. There is nothing wrong with eating pizza or a cookie every now and then, and there's nothing wrong with relaxing from time to time either. As long as you aren't constantly eating junk and not burning the calories, then you do not have a problem. Eating unhealthy things every now and then does not make you fat. EATING every now and then does not make you fat. Try explaining this to her, calmly and patiently. Tell her that you don't want to be forced to do all of this exercising - being forced to exercise makes it a lot less interesting. Do not take "This is for your own good" for an answer; if you do not want to do it, it is NOT for your good. (This, of course, would be a different story if you were actually fat.) ALSO tell her that exercising too much and not satiating your cravings is JUST AS UNHEALTHY AS BEING FAT IS. If you were to not eat healthful meals and not snack every now and then, no matter how healthy or unhealthy the food is, plus exercise so frequently, you would not be healthy.  Eating is good for you, even if the food isn't. Eating too little and eating too much is not healthy. Exercise is good for you. Not exercising enough and exercising too much is not good for you. If you talking to her doesn't help, try telling another adult how you feel, and maybe they can help get it through to her. Regardless of what happens, take care of yourself. Moderate how much you eat, but don't limit yourself to less than you feel you need. Exercise, but don't do something you don't want to; working out should be fun. Good luck with everything. I'm really sorry that she makes you feel so badly about this.
    reply 1 day
    jake495
    jake495 posted in Family Issues:
    Make sure she knows its your body not hers In a respectful way of course
    reply 1 day
    ThePaleWalker636
    I'm perfectly happy with myself. I'm around 5'6" and somewhere between 140-150 pounds, and I don't feel fat. But my mom is constantly telling me that I am, or, at least, that I'm going to be. She forces me to go to exercise classes because I don't like many sports, tries making me go on diets, but I don't want to. She tells me that if I continue the way I am, having an extra cookie once in a while and only eating cereal for breakfast, that I'll end up fat, and she makes sure to emphasize how horrible that is for a person to live with. She rolls her eyes and sighs whenever she sees me getting a snack, and just in general makes me feel awful for eating the things I like and for relaxing. I've told her that I don't want to do these things and that she makes me feel bad when she says things like that, but she swears it's for my own good and that I should never want to be fat, that it ruins people's lives. How should I deal with this?
    reply 1 day
    drowning
    drowning posted in Friends:
    "NS12" wrote: I meet this guy at a festival and we have been talking for the whole week and my mum has noticed I keep texting someone and I know I need to tell her but I don t know how I am going to tell her, I doubt she ll get angry or anything but he lives about 4/5 hours away from me. I know I need to tell her as I don t like keeping secrets from her. I know this was a bit ago, but I truly hope that you were able to be open with your mother. If you feel as if they won't get mad at you, then chances are that your guardian will not. Honesty is the best policy, and if you feel guilt keeping a secret, then it is one you probably shouldn't be keeping.
    reply 3 days
    drowning
    I agree with @rainbowpoptart. You really shouldn't worry about relationships that much given your age. I promise, they're better things to worry about than boys and more secure romances occur later on in life anyways. But, given the situation, you shouldn't worry about either. The boy is unfaithful and so is your friend. If your best friend really valued your friendship, she would not have put it in a position that could end it. Don't waste your time on those who will not put you first just as you do for them; better people will come into your life and they are the ones who you should really worry about.
    reply 3 days