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Dear Dish-It: My Dad Always Overreacts

Dear Dish-It,

My dad is awesome! He loves to go out on fun trips like Lebanon and Dominican Republic! But sometimes I wish he would stop overreacting about everything. I mean, just now he dropped a bunch of coffee cups (because we own a business) and he got mad and yelled at me … then he kissed me as if nothing happened! It’s starting to get annoying – and I get scared when he yells. I tried talking to him but he raises his voice so I get scared again. What should I do?

scared and annoyed


Dear s&a,


In terms of your dad overreacting to stuff, that may just be the way he is. One of the hardest things in the world to do is to make someone change – especially after they’ve been or acted a certain way their whole lives. If you want to help your dad feel less stressed out and angry over the little things that happen in life, you can either talk to him about it (in a calm and gentle way, explain that you’re worried because he gets so worked up about the smallest little problems and incidents, and tell him that sometimes it scares you when he gets so worked up) or set a good example for him by not overreacting to things yourself. Maybe if you lead the way, you dad’s behavior will change?


The other thing is that even though he’s your father, your dad is a human being, just like you. Every one of us gets angry sometimes. The important thing to remember, though, is that anger doesn’t really solve anything. When your dad gets angry and overreacts or loses his temper, the main goal – for both you and him – is to calm him down and try to solve whatever problem is making him upset, whether it’s big or small. The worst possible thing for you to do when your dad is angry is egg him on or provoke him – in other words, you don’t want to do anything to make him more and more upset!


Finally, it sounds to me like your dad has a bit of a bad temper – that’s what causes him to overreact to small issues. Having a bad temper means acting very angry and out of control. The thing is, your dad, like I said before, is a person, and all people have a right to express their feelings – even angry ones. What’s not OK is to express those feelings in a way that hurts other people – physically or emotionally. If you feel like your dad is really hurting you beyond simply expressing his feelings – which he is allowed to do – then you should talk to another adult you trust about it.


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  • Dear Dish-It: Disobeying My Dad
  • Dear Dish-It: Over-controlling Dad


  • 5 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    jordand08
    jordand08 posted in Friends:
    Next time she tells you, see if you can find any evidence that she did, bruise etc.  even if you find nothing that doesn't mean she hasn't. But she or you should tell an adult, or someone you can trust that is older. 
    reply about 6 hours
    drowning
    drowning posted in Family Issues:
    "RavenClawRaina" wrote:Here for the past year, i have been having bad memory problems and rlly bad grades cuz i can never focus. I looked up my symptoms and showed my mom that I might have APD ( auditory processing disorder ). She said we will get it looked into but still hasnt becuz we have had my brothers friend move in with us becuz his adoptive dad beat him and its been putting stress on my mom and she doesnt want to deal with it. I need help in school but no matter how the teachers word things i cant get it. How do I make my mom listen to me and take me to the doctor? Its been getting worst too. I have had problems remembering what we did the day before is certain classes. HELP ME!  At first, I thought it sounded like ADD, but it wouldn't effect your memory like it is. If not, catch your mom while she's not rushing around. Maybe before she goes to bed or while she's making dinner. Maybe even while she's sitting down or send her a text for her to see when she can. I wish the best of luck with the stress! It most likely doesn't help with the APD; stress can add to just about any condition!
    reply 2 days
    drowning
    drowning posted in Family Issues:
    "iiDeadxInside" wrote:I refused to talk to anyone else besides my friends, and my family. I would advise you to try and reach out to other authorities than friends and family. They'll be able to do more.
    reply 2 days
    RavenClawRaina
    Here for the past year, i have been having bad memory problems and rlly bad grades cuz i can never focus. I looked up my symptoms and showed my mom that I might have APD ( auditory processing disorder ). She said we will get it looked into but still hasnt becuz we have had my brothers friend move in with us becuz his adoptive dad beat him and its been putting stress on my mom and she doesnt want to deal with it. I need help in school but no matter how the teachers word things i cant get it. How do I make my mom listen to me and take me to the doctor? Its been getting worst too. I have had problems remembering what we did the day before is certain classes. HELP ME! 
    reply 2 days
    iiDeadxInside
    I refused to talk to anyone else besides my friends, and my family.
    reply 2 days