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Dear Dish-It: How Do I Pick Better Friends?

Dear Dish-It,


I have a habit of being friends with the biggest jerks! I don't know it until they start showing me their real personality. How can I pick better friends?


bad friend picker


Dear bad friend picker,


Having good friends while growing up (and even when you're grown up) is so important. Friendships help us learn how to relate and communicate with others. They also help us learn about ourselves. So, when looking at how to pick better friends, the first thing you should do is ask yourself what kind of a friend are you, and what type of qualities do you look for in a good friend? You can start by making a list of qualities you want in a good friend, for example:

  • Loyal: always there for you
  • Trustworthy: your secrets are safe with them
  • Communicative: you can talk about things with them
  • Caring: they really care about you and others
  • Has integrity: does what they say they're going to do
  • Honest: doesn't lie or cheat
  • Fun: enjoys being alive
  • Positive: has a good outlook on life
  • Good listener: can pay attention while you are talking
  • Growing/Evolving: is always working on being a better person
  • Compatibility: share the same interests

This is a list you can add to. Once you're finished, look at this list and ask yourself if these are qualities you have. It will be very difficult to bring in a good friend if you yourself cannot be one.


What to do if you are in a bad friendship

Sit down and see if you can talk to your friend about how you feel. If they're open to listening to you, this is a good sign; if they tell you to "get over it," and don't seem willing to change, it might be a friendship you may have to let go of.


Also, pay attention to how your friends are treating you and how you are treating your friends. Talk about it with your friends and always keep your list close by.


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Comments

patrick158

patrick158 wrote:

im out here .... #Be_Jay_Prince
commented: Sat Jun 28, 2014

BE_Jay_Prince

BE_Jay_Prince wrote:

Shid I need me some more REAL friends, who out there for me?
commented: Sat Jun 28, 2014

flirtaddict

flirtaddict wrote:

i have had all my closest friends turn in me lately.....
commented: Fri Mar 15, 2013

there are 21 more comments

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Poll-3

Have You Been Dumped by a Bud?

  • Yeah... but I got over it.
  • I get into fights with friends, but we always work it out.
  • No, but I dump my friends if they do something bad to me.
  • I've never lost a friend for any reason.

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

AsianBeauty18
AsianBeauty18 posted in Friends:
The best thing to do is to be simple and direct in a nice and tactful way. You can start by saying, "I need to talk to you. I know you really believe we have a friendship, but I don't feel comfortable with you on that level yet. This doesn't mean we will never talk again, we can be nice to each other, just that we aren't friends like you think we are." Try to be as nice as possible!!!!
reply about 3 hours
brunostar
brunostar posted in Friends:
more details please?
reply about 3 hours
pinksaran
pinksaran posted in Friends:
One of the boys in my grade is telling that I'm his friend. But I know I'm not his friend. What should solve the problem?
reply about 3 hours
hugebear
hugebear posted in Family Issues:
Ello Bun and Im sorry for saying this but your brothers been the brat and its normal though. Erm me suggestion is to keep the diary for one week of all the horrible things he done on you and then tell him and your Mum you want the family meeting about it and then show the list and make him explain each thing he done and say it has to stop. He probably wont listen but its worth trying and good luck :love [whispers I has other ideas too like hiding something of his and saying you will only give it back if he gives you back your whatever he has taken but Im not gonna give this advises ;-)]
reply about 7 hours
AsianBeauty18
It is normal behavior for a young teenage boy, but if it gets out of hand, your parents should have a private conversation with him or get a counselor.
reply about 8 hours

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