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Dear Dish-It: How Do I Pick Better Friends?

Dear Dish-It,

I have a habit of being friends with the biggest jerks! I don't know it until they start showing me their real personality. How can I pick better friends?

bad friend picker

Fab Friendships!Fab Friendships!

Dear bad friend picker,

Having good friends while growing up (and even when you're grown up) is so important. Friendships help us learn how to relate and communicate with others. They also help us learn about ourselves. So, when looking at how to pick better friends, the first thing you should do is ask yourself what kind of a friend are you, and what type of qualities do you look for in a good friend? You can start by making a list of qualities you want in a good friend, for example:

  • Loyal: always there for you
  • Trustworthy: your secrets are safe with them
  • Communicative: you can talk about things with them
  • Caring: they really care about you and others
  • Has integrity: does what they say they're going to do
  • Honest: doesn't lie or cheat
  • Fun: enjoys being alive
  • Positive: has a good outlook on life
  • Good listener: can pay attention while you are talking
  • Growing/Evolving: is always working on being a better person
  • Compatibility: share the same interests

 

This is a list you can add to. Once you're finished, look at this list and ask yourself if these are qualities you have. It will be very difficult to bring in a good friend if you yourself cannot be one.

What to do if you are in a bad friendship

Sit down and see if you can talk to your friend about how you feel. If they're open to listening to you, this is a good sign; if they tell you to "get over it," and don't seem willing to change, it might be a friendship you may have to let go of.

Also, pay attention to how your friends are treating you and how you are treating your friends. Talk about it with your friends and always keep your list close by.

More Great Dish-It Advice:
21 Comments

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Poll 3

Have You Been Dumped by a Bud?

  • Yeah... but I got over it.
  • I get into fights with friends, but we always work it out.
  • No, but I dump my friends if they do something bad to me.
  • I've never lost a friend for any reason.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

Kirsteeeeen
This thread has been moved. Click here to see the new thread.
reply about 16 hours
Isabellax
@nrfvltmrdftw06  :p :p
reply 1 day
nrfrvltmrdftw06
 @isabellax same
reply 1 day
Ashleexo
Ashleexo posted in Family Issues:
"Sophieex_" wrote:I'm not afraid of either of my parents. But if I could choose, my mom. I'm also not afraid of either of my parents at anytime.  But when I was 13 and under and in trouble, it would be my dad.
reply 1 day
country_girl19
If you really want to get rid of the romantic feelings for him, just try picturing a future with him, and also asking these questions in your head, "Is he a good guy?" "Would we last?" But maybe he's acting awkward around you, because your friend asked him to Prom, but he might rather go with you, but doesn't know how to say anything about the situation. I would suggest talking to him about it, and if he is a jerk about it, don't bother. But talk to him first, and if he has the same feelings, then talk to your friend about it. I just want to warn you, that if you do this, you and others could get their feelings hurt. Crushes are a risky, scary thing in high school. Anyway, that's what I think you should do. If you don't want to do that, then follow what your intuition tells you.
reply 1 day