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Dear Dish-It: How Do I Pick Better Friends?

Dear Dish-It,


I have a habit of being friends with the biggest jerks! I don't know it until they start showing me their real personality. How can I pick better friends?


bad friend picker


Dear bad friend picker,


Having good friends while growing up (and even when you're grown up) is so important. Friendships help us learn how to relate and communicate with others. They also help us learn about ourselves. So, when looking at how to pick better friends, the first thing you should do is ask yourself what kind of a friend are you, and what type of qualities do you look for in a good friend? You can start by making a list of qualities you want in a good friend, for example:

  • Loyal: always there for you
  • Trustworthy: your secrets are safe with them
  • Communicative: you can talk about things with them
  • Caring: they really care about you and others
  • Has integrity: does what they say they're going to do
  • Honest: doesn't lie or cheat
  • Fun: enjoys being alive
  • Positive: has a good outlook on life
  • Good listener: can pay attention while you are talking
  • Growing/Evolving: is always working on being a better person
  • Compatibility: share the same interests

This is a list you can add to. Once you're finished, look at this list and ask yourself if these are qualities you have. It will be very difficult to bring in a good friend if you yourself cannot be one.


What to do if you are in a bad friendship

Sit down and see if you can talk to your friend about how you feel. If they're open to listening to you, this is a good sign; if they tell you to "get over it," and don't seem willing to change, it might be a friendship you may have to let go of.


Also, pay attention to how your friends are treating you and how you are treating your friends. Talk about it with your friends and always keep your list close by.


More Great Dish-It Advice:
21 Comments

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

StephRox
StephRox posted in Family Issues:
Sometimes you feel annoyed with a sibling and you just don't know the RIGHT way to deal with it. I'm telling you right now that all that tension, the trouble, the annoyance can stop. But it's up to you.  LITTLE SIBS  [s:p/1koi] My BEST trick is to ignore. Act like  you have no problem with them. And move on, they'll EVENTually give up, TRUST ME. I've tried on my littles sisters.  BIG SIBS  [s:p/1jmr-en] They can be a bit... SASSY I am one anyway but you need to NOT mess with t hem. Even if this is coming from one herself, act like you have NO problem and be kind to them, surprise surprise! They might listen.   [s:p/1kka] Ya friend and Advisor
reply about 10 hours
StephRox
StephRox posted in Style:
If you've ever thought your style wasn't right or you needd a style change think about how YOU want the new you to be like. It YOU anyway. What do you ENJOY wearing? What do you think will be most trendy? And maybe your parents might be like mine and might not APPROVE of your outfit. Think about you. Don't try to change to someone else but the new you  [s:p/1kk9] Your friend and advisor, 
reply about 10 hours
lion2a3
lion2a3 posted in Family Issues:
Well I say don't deal with your friend I mean comfort her and all but if she's doing all that I would leave her alone let her parents deal with it you guys are just kids ending your life isn't the solution and you seem like a really caring person but ####### help from the internet isn't to answer Tell her parents or let her see to see an therapist or something But don't let other people drag you down into depression 
reply 1 day
TJStar234
TJStar234 posted in Friends:
everybody at my school don't really like me! :( 
reply 1 day
cocopanda200
cocopanda200 posted in Friends:
I have 3 close friends at school. Outside of school I have one. I'm soon going up to Secondary school. 2 of my friends, Kathryn and Sophie, are quite mean to me and others in the class. They call me names and push me around. I don't like it but afraid to tell them. They are also quite rude to teachers. When it's just me and Kathryn it's fine and I am wondering if it's just Sophie making an impression. I go to a small school (81 pupils) and making friends is hard for me. Please help!!
reply 1 day