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Dear Dish-It: How Do I Pick Better Friends?

Dear Dish-It,


I have a habit of being friends with the biggest jerks! I don't know it until they start showing me their real personality. How can I pick better friends?


bad friend picker


Dear bad friend picker,


Having good friends while growing up (and even when you're grown up) is so important. Friendships help us learn how to relate and communicate with others. They also help us learn about ourselves. So, when looking at how to pick better friends, the first thing you should do is ask yourself what kind of a friend are you, and what type of qualities do you look for in a good friend? You can start by making a list of qualities you want in a good friend, for example:

  • Loyal: always there for you
  • Trustworthy: your secrets are safe with them
  • Communicative: you can talk about things with them
  • Caring: they really care about you and others
  • Has integrity: does what they say they're going to do
  • Honest: doesn't lie or cheat
  • Fun: enjoys being alive
  • Positive: has a good outlook on life
  • Good listener: can pay attention while you are talking
  • Growing/Evolving: is always working on being a better person
  • Compatibility: share the same interests

This is a list you can add to. Once you're finished, look at this list and ask yourself if these are qualities you have. It will be very difficult to bring in a good friend if you yourself cannot be one.


What to do if you are in a bad friendship

Sit down and see if you can talk to your friend about how you feel. If they're open to listening to you, this is a good sign; if they tell you to "get over it," and don't seem willing to change, it might be a friendship you may have to let go of.


Also, pay attention to how your friends are treating you and how you are treating your friends. Talk about it with your friends and always keep your list close by.


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AlphaT
AlphaT posted in Family Issues:
"Sabbie_luv" wrote:I hate when people say suicide is selfish. The people who say that its selfish don't realize how much it hurts. I mean, my life is horrible! I feel like I am getting an anxiety attack everytime someone tries to talk to me (i have not been diagnosed with social anxiety)! They don't know how bad it is. People say that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Well, suicide is the light at the end. I have attempted suicide twice but I always chicken out. I need someone to kill me. Please. As someone who has friends who were suicidal, and having been suicidal at one point in my life, It's the other way around. The people who are suicidal don't often realize how selfish taking their own life will be, because of the suffering they're experiencing. More directly to your case, though, anxiety causes control-seeking behavior. The taking of ones' own life can be seen as a way to escape the feelings which hurt us, and so we seek to control the situiation by taking ourselves out of the equation. It's like someone who falls ill when they get anxious at school.They know that falling ill will get them out of school, so someone who is anxious can actually have a physical illness as a result of wanting to escape the situation which makes them feel that way. Suicide works a lot in the same way, it's just that instead of getting out of school, we're getting out of life.  The only difference is that the person who gets out of school gets to experience that relief of the anxiety going away, the return of normal breathing as they're able to finally clam down their body and their mind. They start to feel comfortable again. Someone who commits suicide gets none of this, as they'll never again feel anything. There's no possibility of that feeling of relief, there's no longer a person.  In my view, feeling nothing at all is worse than feeling pain. At least when you can feel, you have a chance of feeling better. Life is too, well, lively...especially in such a time like this. I mean, they're making phones which could make their own power for goodness sakes!
reply 22 minutes
Hoellu
Hoellu posted in Family Issues:
Yup.. Pretty agreeBut we don't know If he has already died..! :/I know someone who are going to kill himself bcs of me.. /o\ It's not necesary telling why.  No matter. I'm just trying to stop him..  It's so difficult with so much stress..! /o\"I just know that dieing is not the solution., bcs he is not going to get his objetive anyways.... Conclusion: If something is breaking your life.. Change it!  It doesn't have to be the end!
reply 44 minutes
Sabbie_luv
I hate when people say suicide is selfish. The people who say that its selfish don't realize how much it hurts. I mean, my life is horrible! I feel like I am getting an anxiety attack everytime someone tries to talk to me (i have not been diagnosed with social anxiety)! They don't know how bad it is. People say that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Well, suicide is the light at the end. I have attempted suicide twice but I always chicken out. I need someone to kill me. Please.
reply about 2 hours
amazing234
amazing234 posted in Friends:
so as i , i wish i cloud be in africa  so that i can be with my friend
reply 1 day
priscilakg
priscilakg posted in Style:
I like to wear pants because they are more comfortable and impossible to show your legs.  
reply 1 day