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Dear Dish-It: How Do I Pick Better Friends?

Dear Dish-It,

I have a habit of being friends with the biggest jerks! I don't know it until they start showing me their real personality. How can I pick better friends?

bad friend picker

Fab Friendships!Fab Friendships!

Dear bad friend picker,

Having good friends while growing up (and even when you're grown up) is so important. Friendships help us learn how to relate and communicate with others. They also help us learn about ourselves. So, when looking at how to pick better friends, the first thing you should do is ask yourself what kind of a friend are you, and what type of qualities do you look for in a good friend? You can start by making a list of qualities you want in a good friend, for example:

  • Loyal: always there for you
  • Trustworthy: your secrets are safe with them
  • Communicative: you can talk about things with them
  • Caring: they really care about you and others
  • Has integrity: does what they say they're going to do
  • Honest: doesn't lie or cheat
  • Fun: enjoys being alive
  • Positive: has a good outlook on life
  • Good listener: can pay attention while you are talking
  • Growing/Evolving: is always working on being a better person
  • Compatibility: share the same interests

 

This is a list you can add to. Once you're finished, look at this list and ask yourself if these are qualities you have. It will be very difficult to bring in a good friend if you yourself cannot be one.

What to do if you are in a bad friendship

Sit down and see if you can talk to your friend about how you feel. If they're open to listening to you, this is a good sign; if they tell you to "get over it," and don't seem willing to change, it might be a friendship you may have to let go of.

Also, pay attention to how your friends are treating you and how you are treating your friends. Talk about it with your friends and always keep your list close by.

More Great Dish-It Advice:
21 Comments

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Poll 3

Have You Been Dumped by a Bud?

  • Yeah... but I got over it.
  • I get into fights with friends, but we always work it out.
  • No, but I dump my friends if they do something bad to me.
  • I've never lost a friend for any reason.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

jake495
jake495 posted in Family Issues:
My mom's side of the family is abusive in their discipline. Its too much for me. Even though my grandma left the house, the effects of her disciplinary actions are hurting my self-esteem and self-confidence.
reply about 16 hours
LUCYQWERTY123
LUCYQWERTY123 posted in Friends:
hey there!! i may have not been in that situation but i can help u dont worry btw have u tried calling her??  :|
reply 2 days
Kawai_Potato
Kawai_Potato posted in Friends:
Me and my best friend met in this year but we are, or were, really close. I'm transferring to a different school this year. Me and my friend used to text every single day since summer vacation started. Now, we don't text at all! Whenever I text her I know she reads it because I use ######## but she never responds. It can't all be bad timing. I miss my best friend :(
reply 3 days
Clarkguild
Dear Dish-it, Sorry to be a burden, but I need some advice. About a year ago, I decided I didn't want to live with my mom and decided to move in with my dad. After my mom found out, she told me "You are no longer my child, go drop dead and rot in hell for all I care." My siblings, especially my twin, began to threaten me and my father's lives if we were to ever step foot near them again. A year later, my dad and I get in massive fights about everything I do wrong and he never seems to try and see my point of view. He often gets ##### and compares me to my mother and his previous exes. I feel lost on what to do. I feel so alone and so...hurt. Do you have any advice? I know it's pathetic of me to rant on here, but I'm clueless and on the verge of snapping.
reply 3 days
heckinmemes
have you tried punching her and your dad
reply 3 days