Dear Dish-It: How Do I Pick Better Friends?
I have a habit of being friends with the biggest jerks! I don't know it until they start showing me their real personality. How can I pick better friends?
bad friend picker
Dear bad friend picker,
Having good friends while growing up (and even when you're grown up) is so important. Friendships help us learn how to relate and communicate with others. They also help us learn about ourselves. So, when looking at how to pick better friends, the first thing you should do is ask yourself what kind of a friend are you, and what type of qualities do you look for in a good friend? You can start by making a list of qualities you want in a good friend, for example:
- Loyal: always there for you
- Trustworthy: your secrets are safe with them
- Communicative: you can talk about things with them
- Caring: they really care about you and others
- Has integrity: does what they say they're going to do
- Honest: doesn't lie or cheat
- Fun: enjoys being alive
- Positive: has a good outlook on life
- Good listener: can pay attention while you are talking
- Growing/Evolving: is always working on being a better person
- Compatibility: share the same interests
This is a list you can add to. Once you're finished, look at this list and ask yourself if these are qualities you have. It will be very difficult to bring in a good friend if you yourself cannot be one.
What to do if you are in a bad friendship
Sit down and see if you can talk to your friend about how you feel. If they're open to listening to you, this is a good sign; if they tell you to "get over it," and don't seem willing to change, it might be a friendship you may have to let go of.
Also, pay attention to how your friends are treating you and how you are treating your friends. Talk about it with your friends and always keep your list close by.