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Dear Dish-It: Bogus BF

Dear Dish-it,


I have a boyfriend, but he totally pretends we aren't dating! He asks me not to lean against him and I think he's embarrassed of me. All my friends tease us but it doesn't seem to bother him. What do I do?


Unhappy Girlfriend



Dear Unhappy Girlfriend,

Uh-oh. Your situation sounds sad. When you're in a good relationship with someone who cares about you, then there's no reason to hide it from the world! I wonder why your boyfriend pretends that the two of you aren't dating? Hmm...there could be several reasons, which we can definitely talk about, but, at the end of the day, I think it's pretty unfair and sorta hurtful that he acts like you're not his girlfriend...

Easily Embarrassed

You mentioned that you think your BF is embarrassed of you...well, I think you may be onto something, but I sure hope it's not YOU that he's embarrassed by. If it is, then I don't think he's a very nice guy and you probably should lose him and move on to someone who isn't embarrassed to be with you. But maybe it's more that he just gets embarrassed really easily? If he's the kind of guy who gets really red in the face when he's the center of attention, or if his friends make a lot of fun of him because he has a girlfriend, then he could just be pretending he's not in a relationship with you because he wants to avoid being teased by others.

Is He Immature?

Are you sure your boyfriend is mature enough to have a girlfriend? If he's still sort of immature, he might not be ready. And, if that's the case, what seems to you like him pretending he doesn't know you or that he's embarrassed by you may actually be a signal that he needs some more time to grow up or feel ready to be in a relationship with a girl.

Time to Talk

The bottom line is, you'll never really know why your boyfriend is acting the way he is until you ask him. I think it's definitely important to sit down with him (in private), and ask him why he acts like he doesn't know you or why he gets so embarrassed about your relationship. If his reasons are legit, then try to understand where he's coming from and see if you can work it out. But if he denies doing it and it seems like, after you talk, nothing is going to change, then it may be time for you to move on. If you really feel like you're an "Unhappy Girlfriend," then it's up to you to change that!

Sound Off

What do you think Unhappy Girlfriend should do? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!


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Dear Dish-It in the forums

moongemowl
moongemowl posted in Friends:
Okay, I've NEVER posted anything about my friends before, so bear with me. I've known that me and my BFF have the same crush since we met in 5th grade. But it always seems that my BFF is closer to him than I'll ever be. They went to 2 school dances together while I'm still in the friend zone with my crush. I pretend to not care but I really do care. I've never been in this situation before and don't know what to do about it. Should I tell my BFF how I feel or wait this whole thing out? Or even forget my crush being my crush and find a new crush? HELP!!!!!   :love :confused
reply 43 minutes
jordand08
Maybe that's the only line that needs to be said? You don't have to write down a whole paragraph explaining about how you feel. Sometimes, one word or one sentence can be enough. :p but I don't know. Maybe I have no clue what I'm talking about. :p
reply about 1 hour
jordand08
You'll have to remember, your parents love you, with that being said. If you feel like you can talk to them and they're reasonable, go ahead. But if you feel like waiting it's up to you. I think your family will support you, because they do love you. Maybe they'll be upset at first, but they'll come around, everyone does eventually. Is there anyone in your family that knows, like a cousin? Maybe you can ask for their opinion if you should tell your parents, and family. However, it's up to you. and remember, your parents care and love you.
reply about 1 hour
hugebear
hugebear posted in Family Issues:
You doesnt have to come out to your family until your ready and until they is ready too.  If you blurt it out it could be the shock.  You says that you think your Mums side of the family will be more supportive.  Has you got an Aunty or Uncle what you could discuss this with?  An adult member of your family what is most likely supportive  could probably give the best advises on how to tell your family and when and how and prepares you for how they will react. Good luck mate and takes your time :angel
reply about 7 hours
Mrawsomegamer
I think my mothers side of the family would be fine with it. It's my dad's side I'm most concerned about. My dad says some dreadfully terrible remarks about homosexual people. I think I'm not gunna tell him at all. Ever...  Either way. Thanks for the advice!
reply about 7 hours

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