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Dear Dish-It: I’m Secretly Depressed

Dear Dish-it,

I’m depressed but nobody knows. I act like a crazy, fun, happy girl,but under all that I’m sad and lonely...I can’t keep lying to my friends when I’m in the bathroom stall crying. Should I wait until it goes away or should I tell them…and how?

Leah123

DepressionDealing With Depression

Dear Leah123,

I know just how you feel. I’ve felt down a lot of times, too, and it’s been hard keeping my feelings hidden from everyone around me. But what’s even harder, I think, is dealing with the blues yourself when you’re not even sure why it’s happening!

You’re Not Alone

First thing’s first: you’re not alone in how you feel. Depression is really common, affecting about 1 in 8 teens. It also seems to affect more girls than guys. No one really knows what causes depression. It may have to do with your genes (if your mom or dad suffers from depression, you may be more likely to get the blues than some of your friends), something bad that happens in your life (like moving or changing schools), being stressed out – sometimes depression is even caused by a medical condition.

Depression vs. Sadness

It’s important, also, to understand the difference betwee depression and regular sadness. Everyone has their ups and down – sadness is a totally natural emotion. Things like arguing with friends, breaking up with your boyfriend, getting a bad mark on a test or having to deal with your best friend moving away can all make you feel sad, hurt or disappointed. But it usually doesn’t last very long and you eventually feel better.

Depression is more than feeling down in the dumps every so often. It’s a strong mood that lasts for weeks, months or even longer and it gets in the way of your normal life. You may feel more tired or you may not be motivated to do the things you normally like to do. It may even make you pull away from the people around you – but this will only make you feel more lonely, making the depression worse.

Getting Help

Now for some good news: depression is totally treatable! About 80% of people who get help for their depression end up feeling much better than they did before! The best way to get help is to talk to your parents or some other adult that you trust (a close family friend, your fave aunt, a school counselor or your family doctor) about how you’ve been feeling. While your friends definitely care about you and will be there for you if you need them, they won’t be able to explain why you’re feeling like you do and they won’t be able to find a solution that will help you. An adult may be better able to help you figure out what’s happening inside your head, and find a way to make it better.

Types of Treatment

While there are prescription medications out there for depression (only your family doctor can decide whether you need to try any of these, and he or she will then write you a prescription), it doesn’t even have to be about that. Sometimes just talking about your life and feelings with a counselor or a therapist once a week or so can help a lot! Other things have also been shown to make depression better: exercising, getting outside more, painting, changing the way you eat are all thing that can help to change your mood!

Don’t Wait

One thing’s for sure: you shouldn't wait and hope your feeling of sadness and depression will just go away on their own. After you talk to an adult and get the help you need, you may feel more confident about letting your friends in on your feelings, or you may not even feel the need to explain anything to them because you’ll likely be feeling better than you did before!

Have Your Say

What do you think Leah123 should do? Do you know how she feels and have some advice for her? Leave your comment below!

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How Do You Deal With Depression?

  • I hole up in my room and listen to angry music.
  • I fill my face with Chunky Monkey ice cream.
  • I get all my frustration out on paper by writing poetry.
  • I'm never depressed.

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My mom and dad were supportive about me having a girlfriend. Tho they are indenial of me being male and refuse to use any male terms
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EndlessDream
I've been through a heck of a lot too. I have severe health problems and there were so many times I have lain in a hospital bed thinking I was going to die. I deal with severe depression from that along with the matter of loneliness from not being able to leave the house a whole lot my whole life. I don't have any friends  or really anything to do. I almost - you know- did it once. But then after that I went through a chain of dark events ( that I would rather not say for the topic is too arguable on this place. However, in a Catholic way of speaking, I have met a group of Legion. :P ) That practically changed my mind around into a more depth view of life. We, as humans, take life too seriously. I mean it. Is your life really that bad? Really? Are you alive? Are you speaking to another human who might actually smile at you once in your life? Did you see that pretty butterfly that just went by? We are so used to seeing a better, pampered life that tv shows or someone we know has, and we get jealous. " My life is horrible". Oh really? Did you say hi to your dog today? He's happy to see you isn't he? Smell the rain coming? Doesn't it smell good? We fail to look at the small good things in life and concentrate on " Jim broke up with me. I'm never going to be happy again!" Well....maybe Jim wasn't the guy you are supposed to end up with. Ever think of that? Ever think " Well maybe there is an even better guy out there I am supposed to be with! I just have to try and find him!" Eh? I've also learned: Not everyone is going to like you. No matter how nice you are and how much you try to be friendly, Not everyone is going to like you. I just went through this a few days ago with someone on here. She didn't want to talk to me because I was friends with someone who does bad things. Now that is very stereotypical and not right. Just because she does bad things mean I do bad things too? No. It means I accept everyone. Does that mean I accept the bad things she does? NO. But does that mean I have to not like her because of the bad things she does? NO. I love the person, but not the actions, and it breaks my heart to see the person do these things but i still love them. Get it? It's like if your child does something bad. Does that mean you hate them forever? NO. I try to help people, and for some reason i am attracted to those who are wronged or in pain. Another thing, I love horror. Like a lot. I have it allll over my page. Sometimes that scares people and they might say to me " What do you want?" or " You scare me" before I even say hi. You know what else? There are SO many people here that have told me that I am the nicest person on here they have ever talked to. So, some more stereotypes for you. Main theme is, take a break ( seriously) stand outside or something and just look at the sky, breath in the air and watch that bird carry a worm to her nest. Don't judge others by passed on information. Life is good if you make it so.
reply about 6 hours