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Dear Dish-It: Why Did He Dump Me?

Dear Dish-It,

My BF recently dumped me for no reason, but we still see each other every day at school. When I asked if we could still be friends, he refused. What did I do wrong?

L8

Dear L8,

Being dumped hurts, whether you know why it happened or not. Unfortunately, there’s no easy way to deal with a broken heart except to give it time. Believe it or not, you WILL feel better soon; just be patient.

In terms of trying to find out why he broke up with you, sure, it’d be nice to know the truth. But you need to ask yourself this question: would it really make it any easier? By holding on to this question – WHY did this happen? – what you’re actually doing is holding on to the relationship, even though it’s over. But you won’t be able to move on until you learn to let go.

First thing’s first: try to accept the fact that it’s over and commit to moving on. If you do that and STILL feel like you need to know why he broke up with you, brace yourself and ask him one last time to be honest. But be prepared to hear whatever he has to say. Chances are he’s keeping his reasons a secret in order to spare your feelings. If that’s the case, try telling him he’s hurting you more by keeping you in the dark, and that you’d rather know the truth.

If he still refuses to fill you in, DROP IT. Accept the fact that you’re not gonna get a reason for the breakup, and MOVE ON. If he does open up to you, I’m guessing you’re not gonna like what he has to say – whether it’s the truth or not. And I doubt you’ll feel any better for knowing. Even if you think it will help you not make the same “mistake” in your next relationship (and trust me, there WILL be a next relationship), you’re very wrong. If you think your ex will be able to give you any advice about what you need to “fix” about yourself, forget it.

Think of it this way: if there really was anything your ex boyfriend thought needed to be fixed yet he wanted to stay with you, you would have worked on those issues together. But he didn’t want to work anything out – he just wanted out. You need to accept that and come to terms with the fact that, just like you, he has the right to live his life however he wants, even if it’s without you as a girlfriend or even just a friend. Those are his decisions to make, not yours. So the best thing you can do now is forget about him, forget about what his reasons for dumping you could have been, leave him alone, let him go and move on. Start focusing on loving yourself so that you can someday start a new relationship with someone who wants to be with you and likes you just the way you are!

How to Move On

There are plenty of things you can do once you commit to letting go of your ex and focusing on making yourself feel better again. Try burning off all that negative energy by exercising your body. You may also want to clean your room, getting rid of (or at least storing away) anything that reminds you of your ex. Now is also the perfect time to try something new, like learning to cook or running for class president. Getting involved in extracurricular activities will help keep your mind off your breakup and maybe even let you meet some new friends. It’s also important to be extra nice to yourself while you’re healing your broken heart – pamper yourself with a spa day at home or by splurging on a cute new outfit (just don’t break the bank doing it)! It’s also prime time to step it up and school, sports and any other activity you’re involved in – be the best you can be at whatever it is you do, and feel proud of your accomplishments. Love YOU!

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for L8? Leave your comment below!

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Comments

5SecondsOfSummerGirl#1
u know right i oso know YOURS!!! Ashton Irwin! lol
commented: Tue Sep 16, 2014

taffypinkie16

taffypinkie16 wrote:

@ToriCarly23 - i know who is that!!!
commented: Tue Sep 16, 2014

-ImNotABeautyQueen-
lol hahahaha xD
commented: Mon Sep 15, 2014

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

jordand08
I'm really sorry you have to do through this and that you think you have to go through this alone. But I'm here. Maybe you should move with your dad. It would be safer for you there then with your mom. People say, that the people who you love are the one's who hurt you the most. But not in this case, your parents and the one's around you should be the reason you want to live. They should encourage you to do better, and not get mad when you don't succeed the first time. I understand what you're going through, and if you ever need me, I'm here. I am willing to talk, and sometimes, talking is all it needs to brighten someone's day. So please, come and talk to me. Just.. talk to your dad and see if you can move now, explain to him what's happening.
reply about 1 hour
Anime_
Anime_ posted in Family Issues:
There are millions of things that she does to me to hurt me. She hits a lot for no reason, she always says I'm 'talking back' when I'm just trying to explain in a polite way. She takes sides. When I yell at my 5 year old sister, She freaks out and grounds me it even worse hits me. When my sister yells at me or hits me, all she says is 'sweetie don't hit that brat'. And I'm not exaggerating cause she always does these things. The list can go on and on. When My mom calls me names or hurts my feelings and then I start crying, she calls me 'bratty' and other mean words, and she wonders why I have low self-esteem. I mean, people have feelings too. She thinks the world revolves around her. And when she's sad or angry, she wants me to comfort her. She hurts my feelings so bad that I just want to die. And shell probably be mad at me for dying. I can't take it. Ugh. And I have to deal with her for one more year, then im moving with My dad. Not like she'll miss me.
reply about 1 hour
viti
viti posted in Style:
i like all hairstyles
reply about 5 hours
jordand08
jordand08 posted in Style:
Pj bottoms, and a shirt. 
reply about 18 hours
Mentally_Hilarious
Clothes.
reply about 18 hours

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