Meet New Friends!

Recommended friends are based on your interests. Make sure they are up to date.


Dear Dish-It: Why Did He Dump Me?

Dear Dish-It,

My BF recently dumped me for no reason, but we still see each other every day at school. When I asked if we could still be friends, he refused. What did I do wrong?


Dear L8,

Being dumped hurts, whether you know why it happened or not. Unfortunately, there’s no easy way to deal with a broken heart except to give it time. Believe it or not, you WILL feel better soon; just be patient.

In terms of trying to find out why he broke up with you, sure, it’d be nice to know the truth. But you need to ask yourself this question: would it really make it any easier? By holding on to this question – WHY did this happen? – what you’re actually doing is holding on to the relationship, even though it’s over. But you won’t be able to move on until you learn to let go.

First thing’s first: try to accept the fact that it’s over and commit to moving on. If you do that and STILL feel like you need to know why he broke up with you, brace yourself and ask him one last time to be honest. But be prepared to hear whatever he has to say. Chances are he’s keeping his reasons a secret in order to spare your feelings. If that’s the case, try telling him he’s hurting you more by keeping you in the dark, and that you’d rather know the truth.

If he still refuses to fill you in, DROP IT. Accept the fact that you’re not gonna get a reason for the breakup, and MOVE ON. If he does open up to you, I’m guessing you’re not gonna like what he has to say – whether it’s the truth or not. And I doubt you’ll feel any better for knowing. Even if you think it will help you not make the same “mistake” in your next relationship (and trust me, there WILL be a next relationship), you’re very wrong. If you think your ex will be able to give you any advice about what you need to “fix” about yourself, forget it.

Think of it this way: if there really was anything your ex boyfriend thought needed to be fixed yet he wanted to stay with you, you would have worked on those issues together. But he didn’t want to work anything out – he just wanted out. You need to accept that and come to terms with the fact that, just like you, he has the right to live his life however he wants, even if it’s without you as a girlfriend or even just a friend. Those are his decisions to make, not yours. So the best thing you can do now is forget about him, forget about what his reasons for dumping you could have been, leave him alone, let him go and move on. Start focusing on loving yourself so that you can someday start a new relationship with someone who wants to be with you and likes you just the way you are!

How to Move On

There are plenty of things you can do once you commit to letting go of your ex and focusing on making yourself feel better again. Try burning off all that negative energy by exercising your body. You may also want to clean your room, getting rid of (or at least storing away) anything that reminds you of your ex. Now is also the perfect time to try something new, like learning to cook or running for class president. Getting involved in extracurricular activities will help keep your mind off your breakup and maybe even let you meet some new friends. It’s also important to be extra nice to yourself while you’re healing your broken heart – pamper yourself with a spa day at home or by splurging on a cute new outfit (just don’t break the bank doing it)! It’s also prime time to step it up and school, sports and any other activity you’re involved in – be the best you can be at whatever it is you do, and feel proud of your accomplishments. Love YOU!

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for L8? Leave your comment below!

Related Stories

latest videos


Have You Ever Been Dumped?

  • Yes - it sucks.
  • No - I'm always the one doing the dumping.

related stories

I was with my boyfriend for 7 months and one day he just dumped me when I got to school in the mo...
I dated a guy, but we broke up because he said he didn't want a girlfriend. Now he's going...
It's very close to Valentine's Day and my boyfriend dumped me cuz he thought I was chea...

Dear Dish-It in the forums

Dear Dish-it, i always wanted to be in a band but my parents are saying you should forget about that, you should get a real future. I have fought my case by they just get it.  Please help me Bye
reply about 7 hours
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
Maybe he likes you, as a friend or as more.
reply about 21 hours
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
Friends grow apart as we grow up and change at different rates. It's fine to stop being friends, but it doesn't have to be in a mean way. The best thing to do is talk to her (nicely). You don't have to tell her she's being childish or you feel as if you've matured more. That would be terrible. Talk about things you guys like to do in common or make plans to try new things together. Or don't mention it at all, but don't just begin ignoring her. Eventually the friendship will fade the less time you spend together. 
reply about 23 hours
Amalegend20 posted in Friends:
You should be nice to her. If you have to break the news gently don't make her feel bad just talk to her about and see what she says  
reply 1 day
hugebear posted in Friends:
My bff and I were best friends but weve grown apart im getting older and she still wants to do kid stuff I have new friends now I feel like im being mean to her but like doesn't she get the memo I feel both guilty and mad:} Gosh.... put the shoe on  the other foot and see how would you feel if your bff done this on you. You has been bffs for the long time [Im guessing] and your maturing faster than her.  I agrees you are being mean to her if you doesnt discuss how your feeling with her and ignoring / avoiding her or whatever your doing.    She has been the good friend to you and she deserves to understand if you is growing up faster than her.  I really feels sad for how she could be feeling right now. She didnt do anything wrong.  You changed. Not her. Please be nice to your friend/ex friend and let her down gently [if you really has to] ^^ Me opinion  
reply 2 days

play online games