x

Meet New Friends!

Recommended friends are based on your interests. Make sure they are up to date.

Friends
Kw-logo-smaller

Dear Dish-It: Why Did He Dump Me?

Dear Dish-It,

My BF recently dumped me for no reason, but we still see each other every day at school. When I asked if we could still be friends, he refused. What did I do wrong?

L8

Dear L8,

Being dumped hurts, whether you know why it happened or not. Unfortunately, there’s no easy way to deal with a broken heart except to give it time. Believe it or not, you WILL feel better soon; just be patient.

In terms of trying to find out why he broke up with you, sure, it’d be nice to know the truth. But you need to ask yourself this question: would it really make it any easier? By holding on to this question – WHY did this happen? – what you’re actually doing is holding on to the relationship, even though it’s over. But you won’t be able to move on until you learn to let go.

First thing’s first: try to accept the fact that it’s over and commit to moving on. If you do that and STILL feel like you need to know why he broke up with you, brace yourself and ask him one last time to be honest. But be prepared to hear whatever he has to say. Chances are he’s keeping his reasons a secret in order to spare your feelings. If that’s the case, try telling him he’s hurting you more by keeping you in the dark, and that you’d rather know the truth.

If he still refuses to fill you in, DROP IT. Accept the fact that you’re not gonna get a reason for the breakup, and MOVE ON. If he does open up to you, I’m guessing you’re not gonna like what he has to say – whether it’s the truth or not. And I doubt you’ll feel any better for knowing. Even if you think it will help you not make the same “mistake” in your next relationship (and trust me, there WILL be a next relationship), you’re very wrong. If you think your ex will be able to give you any advice about what you need to “fix” about yourself, forget it.

Think of it this way: if there really was anything your ex boyfriend thought needed to be fixed yet he wanted to stay with you, you would have worked on those issues together. But he didn’t want to work anything out – he just wanted out. You need to accept that and come to terms with the fact that, just like you, he has the right to live his life however he wants, even if it’s without you as a girlfriend or even just a friend. Those are his decisions to make, not yours. So the best thing you can do now is forget about him, forget about what his reasons for dumping you could have been, leave him alone, let him go and move on. Start focusing on loving yourself so that you can someday start a new relationship with someone who wants to be with you and likes you just the way you are!

How to Move On

There are plenty of things you can do once you commit to letting go of your ex and focusing on making yourself feel better again. Try burning off all that negative energy by exercising your body. You may also want to clean your room, getting rid of (or at least storing away) anything that reminds you of your ex. Now is also the perfect time to try something new, like learning to cook or running for class president. Getting involved in extracurricular activities will help keep your mind off your breakup and maybe even let you meet some new friends. It’s also important to be extra nice to yourself while you’re healing your broken heart – pamper yourself with a spa day at home or by splurging on a cute new outfit (just don’t break the bank doing it)! It’s also prime time to step it up and school, sports and any other activity you’re involved in – be the best you can be at whatever it is you do, and feel proud of your accomplishments. Love YOU!

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for L8? Leave your comment below!

Related Stories
227 Comments

related stories

I was with my boyfriend for 7 months and one day he just dumped me when I got to school in the mo...
I dated a guy, but we broke up because he said he didn't want a girlfriend. Now he's going...
It's very close to Valentine's Day and my boyfriend dumped me cuz he thought I was chea...
F1122316517328

Have You Ever Been Dumped?

  • Yes - it sucks.
  • No - I'm always the one doing the dumping.

Latest Videos

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

AlexJonesAJ
My mom and dad were supportive about me having a girlfriend. Tho they are indenial of me being male and refuse to use any male terms
reply about 5 hours
joshieboy24
How come all the original people are banned? The admins are crazy....
reply about 9 hours
genius@23
Where did you guys find this thread?? It was posted 11 years ago lol xD
reply about 9 hours
Thorvald
Thorvald posted in Family Issues:
There's a rare disease which currently affects 80 individuals worldwide, called Progeria. A person who is born with this condition experiences rapid aging, and will live to be, on average, about 13 years old. ...how old are you? If you were born with this disease, how would you live differently? Are you older than 13? What would change in your life, if you knew you were living on borrowed time? Are you younger? How would you perceive the world differently, if you knew you only had a few years left? Life is the most precious gift a person can receive. Don't take yours for granted.
reply about 10 hours
EndlessDream
I've been through a heck of a lot too. I have severe health problems and there were so many times I have lain in a hospital bed thinking I was going to die. I deal with severe depression from that along with the matter of loneliness from not being able to leave the house a whole lot my whole life. I don't have any friends  or really anything to do. I almost - you know- did it once. But then after that I went through a chain of dark events ( that I would rather not say for the topic is too arguable on this place. However, in a Catholic way of speaking, I have met a group of Legion. :P ) That practically changed my mind around into a more depth view of life. We, as humans, take life too seriously. I mean it. Is your life really that bad? Really? Are you alive? Are you speaking to another human who might actually smile at you once in your life? Did you see that pretty butterfly that just went by? We are so used to seeing a better, pampered life that tv shows or someone we know has, and we get jealous. " My life is horrible". Oh really? Did you say hi to your dog today? He's happy to see you isn't he? Smell the rain coming? Doesn't it smell good? We fail to look at the small good things in life and concentrate on " Jim broke up with me. I'm never going to be happy again!" Well....maybe Jim wasn't the guy you are supposed to end up with. Ever think of that? Ever think " Well maybe there is an even better guy out there I am supposed to be with! I just have to try and find him!" Eh? I've also learned: Not everyone is going to like you. No matter how nice you are and how much you try to be friendly, Not everyone is going to like you. I just went through this a few days ago with someone on here. She didn't want to talk to me because I was friends with someone who does bad things. Now that is very stereotypical and not right. Just because she does bad things mean I do bad things too? No. It means I accept everyone. Does that mean I accept the bad things she does? NO. But does that mean I have to not like her because of the bad things she does? NO. I love the person, but not the actions, and it breaks my heart to see the person do these things but i still love them. Get it? It's like if your child does something bad. Does that mean you hate them forever? NO. I try to help people, and for some reason i am attracted to those who are wronged or in pain. Another thing, I love horror. Like a lot. I have it allll over my page. Sometimes that scares people and they might say to me " What do you want?" or " You scare me" before I even say hi. You know what else? There are SO many people here that have told me that I am the nicest person on here they have ever talked to. So, some more stereotypes for you. Main theme is, take a break ( seriously) stand outside or something and just look at the sky, breath in the air and watch that bird carry a worm to her nest. Don't judge others by passed on information. Life is good if you make it so.
reply about 10 hours