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Dear Dish-It: My Crush Has a Broken Heart

Nov 16, 2012

Dear Dish-It,

There is this guy in my class who I like and I think he likes me back, but I’m not sure if he’ll ask me out. His last girlfriend broke up with him and he was pretty devastated. I think he is scared to ask me out because he’s afraid I’ll reject him. Should I talk to him about it and try to make him feel better or convince him that I wouldn't do that to him?

Confused Lover

Dear Confused Lover,

When a guy gets his heart broken, it can take him a while to heal. If his last relationship ended recently you may need to give it some time. You don’t want to wind up as the rebound girl. Those relationships rarely work out. But if you really like this guy, don’t disappear off his radar either. You don’t want another girl swooping in for the kill while you’re giving him space.

To Chase or Not To Chase

You can still hang out with him but make sure you don’t wind up in the friend zone. Flirt, girl, flirt! If he seems like he’s had enough time to heal his broken heart, then try to figure out what type of guy he is. Some guys like the chase, some like to be chased. Look back at his last relationship? Who did the pursuing? Him or his ex? If he likes the chase, then flirt, show confidence (guys like that), and let him come to you. If he likes to be chased, then tell him how you feel.

Your Feelings May Change

I suggest not trying to convince him that you wouldn’t break his heart. That puts you in a very difficult position if you do start dating him and then realize that he’s not the guy for you. Ultimately, you have to do what’s best for you, even if he does get hurt again. Break ups and heartbreaks are a part of life that everyone faces at some point. But they exist to help us to learn and grow and become stronger people. 

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Confused Lover? Leave your comment below!

 
62 Comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

hugebear
hugebear posted in Family Issues:
You doesnt have to come out to your family until your ready and until they is ready too.  If you blurt it out it could be the shock.  You says that you think your Mums side of the family will be more supportive.  Has you got an Aunty or Uncle what you could discuss this with?  An adult member of your family what is most likely supportive  could probably give the best advises on how to tell your family and when and how and prepares you for how they will react. Good luck mate and takes your time :angel
reply about 3 hours
Mrawsomegamer
I think my mothers side of the family would be fine with it. It's my dad's side I'm most concerned about. My dad says some dreadfully terrible remarks about homosexual people. I think I'm not gunna tell him at all. Ever...  Either way. Thanks for the advice!
reply about 3 hours
Kirsteeeeen
If you don't think that you'll be in a safe situation (for example, your parents try to kick you out, or hurt you physically or emotionally) than you should definitely wait to tell them. I think you'll know when the time is right. We can't tell you how they'll react, but I bet you can sort of figure it out from how they feel and act about these topics.  Remember, you are not obligated to tell anybody at all. It's personal. Wait until you're for sure ready to tell them. And when you do, tell them the way in which it's easiest. Get your point across, offer resources, reassurance, and give them time. 
reply about 3 hours
Mrawsomegamer
Hey guys, so I do kinda have a personal issue, but I need to tell my family about it. Truth is, I'm not even sure how they'll even react. Very few of my friends know, only the ones I trust anyway... I'm gay. Or at least bisexual. I kinda had a thing for girls, but that was a long time ago. I think I'm fully gay. I have a very supportive boyfriend, who loves me with all his heart. But that's not what it's about; it's actually coming out to my family, whom I know some of them are quite homophobic. Homophobia runs in my family. Sorta...  It makes my stomach turn when I think about it. I sometimes look into the mirror, look at myself and think if my conscience suddenly made me decide I was gay, or if I was born with it. Science tells us that we are born that way, due to lack of man chemicals entering a boys brain when in development. I feel like I've chosen it (even though I know deep inside I haven't) to be gay, probably because of my family almost forcing me into getting a girlfriend and such. I come from a Catholic family, to make things even worse. I'm like the only practising person in my family, but somehow I feel that they'll use my Faith against me if I come out.  So, should I just wait until I'm older? How do I know when the time is right? How will they even react? How should I even say it?  Please help!
reply about 4 hours
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
This thread has been moved. Click here to see the new thread.
reply about 5 hours

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