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Dear Dish-It: My Crush Has a Broken Heart

Nov 16, 2012

Dear Dish-It,

There is this guy in my class who I like and I think he likes me back, but I’m not sure if he’ll ask me out. His last girlfriend broke up with him and he was pretty devastated. I think he is scared to ask me out because he’s afraid I’ll reject him. Should I talk to him about it and try to make him feel better or convince him that I wouldn't do that to him?

Confused Lover

Dear Confused Lover,

When a guy gets his heart broken, it can take him a while to heal. If his last relationship ended recently you may need to give it some time. You don’t want to wind up as the rebound girl. Those relationships rarely work out. But if you really like this guy, don’t disappear off his radar either. You don’t want another girl swooping in for the kill while you’re giving him space.

To Chase or Not To Chase

You can still hang out with him but make sure you don’t wind up in the friend zone. Flirt, girl, flirt! If he seems like he’s had enough time to heal his broken heart, then try to figure out what type of guy he is. Some guys like the chase, some like to be chased. Look back at his last relationship? Who did the pursuing? Him or his ex? If he likes the chase, then flirt, show confidence (guys like that), and let him come to you. If he likes to be chased, then tell him how you feel.

Your Feelings May Change

I suggest not trying to convince him that you wouldn’t break his heart. That puts you in a very difficult position if you do start dating him and then realize that he’s not the guy for you. Ultimately, you have to do what’s best for you, even if he does get hurt again. Break ups and heartbreaks are a part of life that everyone faces at some point. But they exist to help us to learn and grow and become stronger people. 

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Confused Lover? Leave your comment below!

 
62 Comments

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Broken Heart - Been There, Done That?

  • When my relationships end, it is the worst pain.
  • Nope, when it's over, it's over. Never look back.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

Kirsteeeeen
This is going to sound completely cliche, but the best thing is to just be yourself. You'll make friends no problem. People can tell when you're being genuine or not, and they definitely appreciate you for who you are more than if you tried to be someone else. You got this, it'll be a fun and exciting experience. :)
reply about 20 hours
Kirsteeeeen
I am so sorry for your loss. It must be tough going through this at the moment, losing someone is always a difficult situation. Grief can be unsettling and uncomfortable, but is a normal and necessary part of grieving and getting yourself through these types of things. I encourage you to continue to remember her, whether it be through stories or drawings or other ways you might express your good memories together. You could also do something in her memory such as plant a tree. Healing from loss takes time. There's no magic fix that'll make you feel better overnight. You just have to let yourself go through the process and eventually you will feel better. I promise. I'm also here if you feel like talking about it at any time, just send me a request.
reply about 20 hours
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Style:
On a typical day I wear a pair of ripped jeans and either a hoodie or jacket, and a snapback. The opposite would probably be a dress lmao.
reply about 20 hours
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Style:
I also love expensive clothing. Brand names are my thing. But I always shop either during sale times or at second hand stores. Sales are my best friend, honestly. It might be frustrating to wait, but it's worth it in the end. Shop only on sale racks in big stores, and scout out smaller second hand stores that often carry brand names, never worn, but for a cheaper price.
reply about 20 hours
StopItGetSomeHelp
Hello! I'm in need of urgent advice. The guy I have a crush on and I were best friends around two years ago. Somebody told him that I like him, and now he avoids me like the plague... I really just want to be friends with him again even if he doesn't like me back. What should I do? I'm quite an awkward girl, and I can't make conversation for the life of me. We're going into seventh grade, and I haven't talked to him nor seen him all summer. Please help!
reply 2 days