Kw-logo-smaller

Dear Dish-It: My Crush Has a Broken Heart

Nov 16, 2012

Dear Dish-It,

There is this guy in my class who I like and I think he likes me back, but I’m not sure if he’ll ask me out. His last girlfriend broke up with him and he was pretty devastated. I think he is scared to ask me out because he’s afraid I’ll reject him. Should I talk to him about it and try to make him feel better or convince him that I wouldn't do that to him?

Confused Lover

Dear Confused Lover,

When a guy gets his heart broken, it can take him a while to heal. If his last relationship ended recently you may need to give it some time. You don’t want to wind up as the rebound girl. Those relationships rarely work out. But if you really like this guy, don’t disappear off his radar either. You don’t want another girl swooping in for the kill while you’re giving him space.

To Chase or Not To Chase

You can still hang out with him but make sure you don’t wind up in the friend zone. Flirt, girl, flirt! If he seems like he’s had enough time to heal his broken heart, then try to figure out what type of guy he is. Some guys like the chase, some like to be chased. Look back at his last relationship? Who did the pursuing? Him or his ex? If he likes the chase, then flirt, show confidence (guys like that), and let him come to you. If he likes to be chased, then tell him how you feel.

Your Feelings May Change

I suggest not trying to convince him that you wouldn’t break his heart. That puts you in a very difficult position if you do start dating him and then realize that he’s not the guy for you. Ultimately, you have to do what’s best for you, even if he does get hurt again. Break ups and heartbreaks are a part of life that everyone faces at some point. But they exist to help us to learn and grow and become stronger people. 

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Confused Lover? Leave your comment below!

 
62 Comments

latest videos

F1011316068283

Broken Heart - Been There, Done That?

  • When my relationships end, it is the worst pain.
  • Nope, when it's over, it's over. Never look back.

related stories

Micro_deardish-boyfriendreputation-micro
Hesitant asks: I recently started going out with a boy from another school. He’s really nice and ...
Micro_deardish-crush-micro
Dear Dish-It: I’ve had a crush on this guy for over two years now. We’ve had five classes togethe...
Micro_deardishit-jealous-micro
Jealous asks: I don’t like my ex-boyfriend anymore, but when he started dating another girl I fel...
Micro_deardishit-singledout-micro
Lover Girl asks: "I want a boyfriend because all my friends have one, but it’s the summer holiday...

Dear Dish-It in the forums

lelnah
lelnah posted in Friends:
"Tldc_Julisha" wrote:I'm in the popular group but im trying to figure out if maybe its time to stop being in the popular group or notI like being in the group but at the same time I don't because-The other girls in the popular group are kind mean to othersThey make fun of people who don't wear what we wearThey push/shove people into lockersIs it time to leave the popular group or should I stay there??? Of course not! What kinds of people just go through their everyday lives shoving good kids into hard metal lockers? It's not right. I would never associate myself with a group like that. What kind of popular is that, shoving kids into lockers?  
reply about 4 hours
Hannah728
Hannah728 posted in Friends:
Ok i have the same problem with every guy! I have a crush on the cutest guy and i think somebody else likes him! And i mean like for sure think that they like him!
reply about 7 hours
classicalmusicisepic
"shae508" wrote: "classicalmusicisepic" wrote: my friends offline are having some relationship problems atm and there are just some things i want to mention on here, because i think they're relevant; some warning signs, etc and how to approach them. these not only apply to romantic relationships, but also friendships etc. physical harm - this might be an obvious one. but i just want to share some ways to approach the situation. this includes unwanted touching, hitting, kicking, etc. if your partner is doing this to you, you must report it to a trusted adult, teacher, counselor, close friend, or family member. this is one of the most serious abusive relationships- there are many resources online such as childline, etc, and hotlines you can call if you need to speak to someone about it. they may be able to help you get out of the relationship, and give you a shoulder to cry on. pressure into unwanted intimacy - this is also one of the big ones- your partner should never make you feel uncomfortable or otherwise. if they wish to stay with you, they will wait until you're ready to move onto that stage; if you even ever will be. if you feel pressured, or pushed into doing something you feel you'll regret, sit down and talk about it with your partner. you have a say in your relationship, too. control over your friends - if you feel like your partner has control over your friends- something is wrong. if they want you to dedicate every second of your life to them, with no other people, it's not right. your relationship not only affects the two people in it, (or more if it's polyamourous), but everyone around is affected by your relationship, too. again- you have a say in how your relationship is going, too!   criticizing you and your choices - relationships are about liking each other- if your partner is putting you down or demeaning you, it's a warning sign to get out of it. are they mocking you? or putting down your appearance, clothes, etc? Definite red flag; talk about it with him/her/them.  other signs, include: -being doted and adored one day, and the next being pushed away and ignored, -you're afraid of your partner -they obsess over and call/text you constantly -you may find you've lost your confidence -many ups and downs in the relationship, constant roller coaster -you aren't yourself. you change and adapt for them, drop hobbies if they're not into them, etc. -something tells you you cant trust them again, there are many resources out there if you need to talk. never be afraid to speak about it to someone- a family member, a teacher, a close friend, the police, a guidance counselor, etc.  I bolded that one part. The whole thread is great. And that one is a sign. But remember people with mental illness may also show signs like this to. If they have a good they they may spoil you and love you, and then the next day they're having a bad one. So they might push you away. They also may suddenly dote on you one day also to make up for a bad day. I'm not making an excuse, it's still a ver bad thing to do. I'm just putting it out there. that's a good point. 
reply about 8 hours
shae508
shae508 posted in Friends:
"classicalmusicisepic" wrote:my friends offline are having some relationship problems atm and there are just some things i want to mention on here, because i think they're relevant; some warning signs, etc and how to approach them.these not only apply to romantic relationships, but also friendships etc.physical harm - this might be an obvious one. but i just want to share some ways to approach the situation. this includes unwanted touching, hitting, kicking, etc. if your partner is doing this to you, you must report it to a trusted adult, teacher, counselor, close friend, or family member. this is one of the most serious abusive relationships- there are many resources online such as childline, etc, and hotlines you can call if you need to speak to someone about it. they may be able to help you get out of the relationship, and give you a shoulder to cry on.pressure into unwanted intimacy - this is also one of the big ones- your partner should never make you feel uncomfortable or otherwise. if they wish to stay with you, they will wait until you're ready to move onto that stage; if you even ever will be. if you feel pressured, or pushed into doing something you feel you'll regret, sit down and talk about it with your partner. you have a say in your relationship, too.control over your friends - if you feel like your partner has control over your friends- something is wrong. if they want you to dedicate every second of your life to them, with no other people, it's not right. your relationship not only affects the two people in it, (or more if it's polyamourous), but everyone around is affected by your relationship, too. again- you have a say in how your relationship is going, too!  criticizing you and your choices - relationships are about liking each other- if your partner is putting you down or demeaning you, it's a warning sign to get out of it. are they mocking you? or putting down your appearance, clothes, etc? Definite red flag; talk about it with him/her/them. other signs, include:-being doted and adored one day, and the next being pushed away and ignored,-you're afraid of your partner-they obsess over and call/text you constantly-you may find you've lost your confidence-many ups and downs in the relationship, constant roller coaster-you aren't yourself. you change and adapt for them, drop hobbies if they're not into them, etc.-something tells you you cant trust themagain, there are many resources out there if you need to talk. never be afraid to speak about it to someone- a family member, a teacher, a close friend, the police, a guidance counselor, etc.  I bolded that one part. The whole thread is great. And that one is a sign. But remember people with mental illness may also show signs like this to. If they have a good they they may spoil you and love you, and then the next day they're having a bad one. So they might push you away. They also may suddenly dote on you one day also to make up for a bad day. I'm not making an excuse, it's still a ver bad thing to do. I'm just putting it out there.
reply about 10 hours
jordand08
jordand08 posted in Friends:
No problem!
reply about 10 hours

play online games