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Dear Dish-It Answers as Many Crush Questions as Possible

Aug 08, 2017

Having a crush can consume you. It can feel like your only problem and can distract you from other important things in your life. Tons of kids and teens write in with their crush questions, and today on Dear Dish-It’s “Let’s Talk About It Tuesday”, we are going to answer (as many questions as we can) from kids and teens who are dealing with crush-related issues. The agony of not knowing if they like you back, the uncertainty of what will happen next can be so painful. Sometimes it gets complicated, other people get involved and it becomes even more difficult to deal with. Hurting people’s feelings is hopefully not in anyone’s interest, and matters of the heart often result in hurt. They also result in confusion as we try to figure out if people like us back or not. Sometimes we get hurt simply by telling people how we feel, and there is nothing worse than coming clean about something you didn’t think you could talk about, only to be punished, rejected or cast off. We have to find more mature ways of dealing with rejection. If someone is your friend and tells you they like you, let them know you don’t feel the same way (if that's the case), but don’t stop being their friend. Don’t scare away just because someone likes you. Take it as a compliment and treat that person with respect. Eventually, they will get over you and the situation will all become water under the bridge.

Let’s Take a Look at This Week’s Questions:

Sometimes telling a friend we like them can push them awaySometimes telling a friend we like them can push them away

Question by Anonymous

Dear Dish-It, I'm BFFS with two guys. (I'm a girl) one day we were snap chatting and one of them asked me who I liked. I told him I'd tell him if he told me who he liked. He agreed so I said," I like a guy from another school", and I said," I used to like both of them". Then the guy said he liked me. I replied, "What! Me?". Then he said he has friends over and they wanted to see my reaction. They pranked me! I trusted him! Now our friendship is drifting and one of them seems like I annoy him. I don't know what to do. They were my best friends. Please help!!!

Insight/advice:

What it seems like to me is that this guy was hoping you would say you like him too. When he felt rejected he had to find a reason to calm his embarrassment, so he said it was a prank. I could be wrong, but that is what it sounds like. People at this age are so scared of rejection and not being liked back that it makes it really hard for them to put their true feelings on the line. If these people are actually “pranking” you and phasing you out over this, they aren’t your real friends. You didn’t do anything wrong. You were honest and you don’t deserve to be bullied by your so-called friends. Hang out with people who make you feel good about yourself and don’t lower your self-worth just to fit in. If these people are really your friends, they will get over it, and come around in time. Though it might be wise to give these people some space. Don’t give them the opportunity to mistreat you. Hang out with people who make you feel good, accepted and wanted. 

Sometimes you just have to be brave and break the ice with someoneSometimes you just have to be brave and break the ice with someone

Question by Nate

I like a girl in my class, but I don’t know how to ask her out. Please help me...

Insight/advice:

This question has come up in previous Crush articles and I am going to link you, view it here. As I stated previously, there are a number of ways to ask someone out, but you just have to do it. Rejection is something normal we all have to deal with, but at least if you take the chance you will have the answer. Also, the more you ask people out the less you will be affected by the rejection.

Ways to Ask People Out:

  • You can send a note
  • Write an email
  • Send a Facebook message
  • Send a video Snapchat
  • Invite them to the movies
  • Ask them out in person at the right time
  • Call them on the phone
  • Send them a text
  • Find a cute and creative way to do it 

You will never know until someone likes you until they just doYou will never know until someone likes you until they just do

Question by Paulinne

There’s this boy in class, I have a crush on him, but I don’t know how to overcome this awkwardness inside of me? So, how [do you] be normal around the boy you like?

Insight/advice:

Sounds like your feelings for this boy make you shy. That’s totally normal and natural. Do not judge yourself for any of that. Recognize that you have real feelings and they make you act differently around this guy. Have you ever tried talking to him? Have you ever sent him a message and tried to start a conversation? Basically, I am asking if you have tested his interests at all? Do you think he could like you back? If so, great, but otherwise you’re just going to have to try and get over this boy. Once you do, you won’t feel so strange being around him. 

True chemistry is what brings people togetherTrue chemistry is what brings people together

Question from StopItGetSomeHelp

Hello! I'm in need of urgent advice. The guy I have a crush on and I were best friends around two years ago. Somebody told him that I like him, and now he avoids me like the plague... I really just want to be friends with him again even if he doesn't like me back. What should I do? I'm quite an awkward girl, and I can't make conversation for the life of me. We're going into seventh grade, and I haven't talked to him nor seen him all summer. Please help!

Insight/advice:

Would you say you no longer have feelings for this boy? Sometimes boys get scared off when they hear girls like them. He feels like he can’t pay attention to you right now because he doesn’t want to give you any wrong ideas, and he doesn’t want to deal with the issue. He is avoiding you. If it were me, and I felt like I have a hard time talking, I would write a note or send a message via social media. Stating something like: “I know I made things “weird” between us when you found out I liked you, but I realize that I just like you as a friend. If I ever thought sharing that information would mean losing you as a friend, I never would have. I really just miss your company and would like us to be cool again, do you think we can put it all past us? Obviously, use your own words and say what makes the most sense for you and your situation, but there is no harm in reaching out. “Talk About it Tuesdays” are meant to influence communication, which is very important when trying to build a solid relationship of any nature. Hopefully, you can tell him you are over it and you can be friends again. Often guys just want to be cool. I think he just needs to hear that you are past your romantic feelings. 

Sometimes you are forced to get over a crush like when your best friend likes him tooSometimes you are forced to get over a crush like when your best friend likes him too

Question from anonymous

Dear Dish-It, I have a huge crush on this boy but my best friend likes him too, what should I do. I don’t want to hurt my best friend and I also don’t want to miss my opportunity and if I do ask what do I say? 

Insight/advice:

We want to provide you with all the insight we possibly can, so check out this article, which discusses a similar situation. Dear-Dish-It’s rule is to never let a boy get in the way of friendship, especially your best friend. Do you feel like this boy likes you back, or do you just not want to miss out on a chance? If you are going to do anything, I would definitely recommend talking to your friend first. Find out how much she likes him and whether or not she would support you going after him. Really, it will be the boy’s choice who he wants to be with and that may end up being neither of you. What’s important is your friendship and you want to keep that in tact because cute boys come and go, but some friendships are forever. 

When someone really likes you they recognize your good qualitiesWhen someone really likes you they recognize your good qualities

Question by Despret guy

I really like someone (Let's call her Y). Y and her friends think I'm some kind of monster, but I really am a nice, funny, relatable boy, what do I do?

Insight/advice:

Sounds like you have to find a way for this girl to see you for who you really are. Try talking to her on your own and see if she shows any interest. Regardless, it sounds like you know what you have to offer so I wouldn’t go around hanging out with people who think negatively of you. If this girl is worth it, she won’t care what her friends think. Remember, kids and teens are very influenced by their friend groups, don't take it personally if she won't give you a chance. She might just be looking out for herself and her own reputation. Regardless, if you are meant to be together, you will and no factors will stand in the way of that.  

Sometimes people bond over similar interests and work well because they have things in common.Sometimes people bond over similar interests and work well because they have things in common.

Question from anonymous

Hi! I have a crush, who I like and have talked to before. But I think he likes me, and I think he knows that I like him also. He had his friends go up to me and ask questions like, " Fav Colour, Fav Food". My friends also went up to him and asked the same kind of questions and told him to talk to me also. I think I'm afraid something is going to happen if I say to him I like him. What do you think is going to happen? 

Insight/advice:

If I were you, I wouldn’t make any sudden moves, don’t say anything about feelings, just get to know this guy. Try talking to him directly and not through your friends. Try not to involve other people and make it a spectacle. It sounds like he is interested in getting to know you, but you don’t want to scare him off, so just go at a healthy pace. Continue to talk to him and get to know him and find out how much you truly like him before you say anything. Though I wouldn't answer his questions through other people, I would just talk to him yourself. How else are you truly going to learn if you like this boy? 

Question by Goldenfreddy_07

Dear Dish-It, three girls like me and I don’t know what to do. Can you help me?

Insight/advice:

Do you like any of these three girls or do you just like the attention? It’s nice to be wanted and admired, but you don’t want to toy with their feelings or lead them on. Honesty is the best solution here. If you feel ready and like one of the girls, tell them, be with them, but don’t keep this game going on any longer simply out of amusement. Think about people’s feelings, consider the outcomes and act accordingly. It;s not necessarily a problem that three girls like you, it's actually a huge compliment, but how you decide to treat these girls is up to you, and I hope you pick the high road, which entails being classy and sparing these girl's feelings. 

Don’t let your crush ruin you. There is so much to celebrateDon’t let your crush ruin you. There is so much to celebrate

Afterthoughts

It can be very complicated having crushes, but you don’t want to let them affect your mental health. If you find yourself unable to concentrate on important things, then you need to re-look at the situation. Crushes are meant to be fun at this age, playful, innocent, they shouldn’t be hurting you or preventing you from living your life. Here are some things to consider when crushing:

  • Don’t go after people your friends like unless you have their permission
  • Don’t like people who are already involved
  • Don’t crush after someone who is abusive, rude to you or puts you down
  • Don’t crush over someone who wants something in return
  • Don’t lead people on just to get attention
  • Confront your feelings but have no expectations
  • Don’t get other people involved in your crush (unless you really trust them)
  • Don’t make your situation gossip for others
  • Only tell people that you trust about your crush
  • Remember you are young and the chances of meeting the one are slim
  • Therefore, relax, enjoy yourself and have fun with it

Ideally, you want to crush on someone who feels the same way, but if this doesn’t happen don’t get discouraged. Don’t think that you won’t move on or meet someone new because you will. Matters of the heart take time to heal. Sometimes you have to put yourself out there and get rejected so that you can pick yourself up and keep moving on. Never give up. Eventually, you are going to meet someone and it will click.

On a separate housekeeping front, we’ve been getting a lot of questions about female hygiene issues and periods. Please re-read our Do’s and Don’ts listed below as these subject matters are not to be addressed by Dear-Dish-It. I apologize, but you need to see your doctor for educated advice and consult a grown up. 

Interested in getting in touch with Dear Dish-It? Simply email deardish@kidzworld.com with your concern, and we will address you on “Let’s Talk about it Tuesday” if your question is suitable for our topic of conversation. Regardless, keep your eyes peeled as Dear Dish-It it is covering a lot of issues, and you never know when your question or topic of concern will be featured in an article. Please let us know if you would like your handle to be listed as anonymous and list your age in your question if you would like as that can impact advice. To learn the Do's and Don'ts of Dear Dish-It and to find out what kind of questions are appropriate, check out this article!

Have Your Say 

Do you think it takes a long time to get over a crush? What’s the most important thing you’ve learned in the dating game?

 

 

 

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Crush poll

Should You Make A Move On Your Crush?

  • YES: If you don't it may not ever happen!
  • No: If it's meant to be you won't have to do anything to make it happen
  • Maybe: It depends on how sure you are your crush likes you back
  • Don't know: I've never had a crush on anyone before

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

drowning
drowning posted in Style:
  "imtcutiie" wrote: DONT DO IT JUST PLEASE #### #### #### ......... CHANGING EYE COLOR  JUST WRONG   Changing eye color isn't wrong. :^) But, you can't simply change it with "spells" or videos. To change your eye color, you will need to either wear contacts during the day to appear that you have different colored eyes than you truly have, or medically having a doctor perform surgical iris correction.
reply about 8 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
I hope you texted back if you felt that it would be the right thing to do for yourself. I did not have a good childhood due to my birthmother and father. But, in recent time, I have come to enjoy talking to my birthfather and completely cannot stand my birthmother or her new husband anymore. I plan to actually meet him for the first time in 16 years if I can join my fiancé's family vacation.  Point of the matter, do what you feel is right. If you want to talk to him; talk to him. If you don't, don't reply if you don't feel comfortable too. It is purely your choice who you allow in your life, even when it comes down to blood and family.
reply about 8 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
It isn't pathetic in the slightest to seek help. I don't think it is right for your mother and siblings to completely disown you over your choice of living arrangements. If they have pushed you away, remember that it is not your fault and it is purely theirs. You made a choice that you felt would benefit you, and judging from their behavior, it was a good choice. As for your father, I don't fight with my own very much, but when I do it tends to be pretty bad. My mother on the other hand, I fight with constantly so I understand where you're coming from. You shouldn't have to do anything. From the sound of it, it seems more like a personal issue going on with himself, especially a sense of shame or regret with his previous exes so he uses you as an outlet because you're the closest thing he has.  I say find an outlet, a healthy one. Sometimes it is best to let them ramble on until they wear themselves out, but remember that self-defense and "talking back" is not always a bad thing just because they are your guardian. It is important to take a stand for yourself. Be respectful, don't sink to their level.
reply about 9 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
I think it is very important to find a healthy outlet and someone to talk to whether it's a doctor, friend, family member, ect. You can even find a journal to write in, if it will help you. I promise you, it isn't worth it to let families opinions and views affect you. I let the same thing happen to me and I still struggle over things that I wish I didn't.
reply about 9 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Friends:
Personally, given your age, the idea of a crush is a bit cute, but you're a little young for anything serious. I would recommend waiting until you truly know what you're doing. (And, believe me, you may not see it now, but you will when you're older.) But, if you really do want to find out, you need to remember that boys and girls both feel things. Boys aren't aliens, they aren't emotionless, and they aren't always just  dumbieheads.  You'll find it funny later on in life from how nervous you had gotten over a crush So honestly, just be straight forward. If you need a topic starter to bring it up, joke about old rumors that used to spread about you both.
reply about 9 hours