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Dear Dish-It, How Do I Stop Being a Hypocrite?

Dear Dish-It,

I am a hypocrite. Let's just say this - I got invited to "Annas's" party. I went and I had a good time. But the thing is, with "Anna", I always talk bad about "Faye". And this time, I talked bad about "Anna" with "Faye". I feel really bad, but I am still friends with both of them! What should I do to stop being a hypocrite? I really do not try to be mean!
Love ya lots.
* secret luvr *

Dear * secret luvr *,

So far you've been lucky that no one has spilled the beans about your back-stabbing. But, rest assured that if you keep up the trash talking, you won't just lose one of your friends, you'll lose both. No one likes a gossip, especially when you don't seem to have a reason for it. Both of these girls are apparently your friends, so if you value their friendship at all, you will zip those loose lips of yours. There's really just one very simple way of not being a hypocrite, and that's to just stop being one. Talking about your friends behind their back is not a disease that you can get medication for - you just have to have the willpower to be a better person.

So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .

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Ever Trash-Talked a Friend?

  • No way! I would never talk about my friends behind their back.
  • Once or twice, but I try not to make a habit of it.
  • Sure, who hasn't?
  • It's usually my friends who talk trash about me.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

bookwormlestrange
I don't have ADHD, but I know plenty about it. One of my friends has ADHD and Tourette's, and the teachers were always turds about it. Anyway, i think that a good way to deal with ADHD acting up is either changing medication or trying to eat foods or drinks with caffeine. I'm not sure if it works for you, but a lot of people with ADHD have seen significant improvements after putting caffeine in their systems. If your friends are acting like turds, you need better friends. I hope my advice helps.
reply about 7 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
I have one so annoying sister, that it feels like I have 200 of them, oh my god. She's pounding on the door right now, HELP! 
reply about 19 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
Dad, obviously. I can't even explain what he does to me!
reply about 19 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
Well, if they are your BFFs, they shouldn't be teasing you to make you feel bad. Me, and my BFFs tease each other all the time playfully, but I understand that this is different, and if it's making you feel bad it isn't playful at all.   Maybe your eldest friend is having some trouble with family issues, bad grades, body changes, etc. It's okay to be angry, so maybe you should leave her space for a few days, and see if it turns better. If it isn't, then try to first make her calm down. Then, make her talk to you about why she is so angry and ask if you can try to help. If nothing turns out better, tell her that you feel uncomfortable, and you want her to talk to you.  For your 3rd eldest friend, support her as much as possible, and stand up for her in this terrible situation. If you are all BFFs, then you should all be very close and comfortable around each other, and the fight shouldn't last long. If not, they are not your real friends, and you have to go on without them. I have tons of advice on how to make new friends, so just ask me if you want to know. Your 2nd eldest friend seems to be the main problem.  First of all, tell her to stop, and say how you don't like her bullying you. You must say what she is doing wrong, and how it makes you feel. If she doesn't care, tell her you're serious, and you hate what she is doing to you. If it continues, ignore what trash she is saying, and just simply walk away. Focus on other things that will help make you feel better. Remember, all she is is a person, and it's up to you to act appropriately.  Stay positive, and calm. Focus on other things, and if she continues, tell her that you can all be friends and you miss her. Go get another friend to stand up with you, and tell her that you will report to an adult if she won't stop. She may be your friend, but she deserves it. I told on my BFF when she was mean, so it's all okay now.  If all else fails, get a trusted adult, and hang out with nicer friends. Your other friends will learn from their mistakes. If not, warn them, and give them a sincere kindness note of how you miss being friends. Then, also give one to the bully.
reply about 19 hours
AnnaOfExquizurd
Yeah, @CyclonicBass the best option really is to find a girl with a quirky personality. Become friends with her. Possibly, over time, she'll grow close to you and accept a request to be with you. Hope it goes well!
reply 2 days