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Dear Dish-It, My Friend Is a Big Jerk Sometimes


Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl after I've thought about this some more".


Dear Dish-It,

I have a friend who I think is a real big jerk at times. He says he does all this stuff for everybody else, but that nobody does anything for him. He only helps half the time. For example, he was going to set me up with this girl I liked for three years, but a couple of months later, he asked her out himself. I am kinda too forgiving so I try to let these things go. Should I still be friends with him?
King


Dear King,

That's not cool. Your friend is no friend to you. So why should you be his friend? Ask yourself this: does he usually act like a friend, or is it always one-sided? If you're not sure, make a list. In one column, write down why you like him and how he has shown his friendship to you. In another column, write down what he's done in the past that wasn't very nice or supportive, and anything else that just plain pissed you off. If column one is longer than column two, then he's your bud and maybe this girl issue was just a major moment of selfishness (we all have them). If column two is longer than column one - and this girl is just one example of his "It's all about me" complex - then lose him fast. You may decide that he's a keeper even if column two is longer than column one. It's your choice, but you'll have to live with it, which means you'll have to learn to let his crappy moments roll off your back.


I am in that situation too, but I am still friends with her because we have been friends too long to break it up... so my advice to you if you want to break your friendship is go ahead... but ask yourself this question: how long have you been friends for a girl to come between you?
Username: Anonymous


What's up, King? Your friend is your friend no matter what so my advice is you forgive him because you shouldn't let nobody (girl/boy) come between yall's friendship.
Username: Anonymous


I totally agree. You can't be friends with someone who isn't nice. If you are gonna stay friends with him, you HAVE to talk to him. Explain how you feel and he should back off. If he doesn't, he isn't worth your time.
Username: Anonymous


NO WAY! If your friend is treating you - and all your other friends - like dirt, then what kind of friend is that? Not a good one, at the very LEAST. All you have to do to completely wash this loser from your life is to say, "Dude, if you're not nicer to me + everyone else, I'm gone. Choose: it's the way you're headed now without me, or a different way with me." He'll get the message.
Username: Anonymous


Dude, get that girl back.
Username: Anonymous


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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    shae508
    shae508 posted in Friends:
    "classicalmusicisepic" wrote:my friends offline are having some relationship problems atm and there are just some things i want to mention on here, because i think they're relevant; some warning signs, etc and how to approach them.these not only apply to romantic relationships, but also friendships etc.physical harm - this might be an obvious one. but i just want to share some ways to approach the situation. this includes unwanted touching, hitting, kicking, etc. if your partner is doing this to you, you must report it to a trusted adult, teacher, counselor, close friend, or family member. this is one of the most serious abusive relationships- there are many resources online such as childline, etc, and hotlines you can call if you need to speak to someone about it. they may be able to help you get out of the relationship, and give you a shoulder to cry on.pressure into unwanted intimacy - this is also one of the big ones- your partner should never make you feel uncomfortable or otherwise. if they wish to stay with you, they will wait until you're ready to move onto that stage; if you even ever will be. if you feel pressured, or pushed into doing something you feel you'll regret, sit down and talk about it with your partner. you have a say in your relationship, too.control over your friends - if you feel like your partner has control over your friends- something is wrong. if they want you to dedicate every second of your life to them, with no other people, it's not right. your relationship not only affects the two people in it, (or more if it's polyamourous), but everyone around is affected by your relationship, too. again- you have a say in how your relationship is going, too!  criticizing you and your choices - relationships are about liking each other- if your partner is putting you down or demeaning you, it's a warning sign to get out of it. are they mocking you? or putting down your appearance, clothes, etc? Definite red flag; talk about it with him/her/them. other signs, include:-being doted and adored one day, and the next being pushed away and ignored,-you're afraid of your partner-they obsess over and call/text you constantly-you may find you've lost your confidence-many ups and downs in the relationship, constant roller coaster-you aren't yourself. you change and adapt for them, drop hobbies if they're not into them, etc.-something tells you you cant trust themagain, there are many resources out there if you need to talk. never be afraid to speak about it to someone- a family member, a teacher, a close friend, the police, a guidance counselor, etc.  I bolded that one part. The whole thread is great. And that one is a sign. But remember people with mental illness may also show signs like this to. If they have a good they they may spoil you and love you, and then the next day they're having a bad one. So they might push you away. They also may suddenly dote on you one day also to make up for a bad day. I'm not making an excuse, it's still a ver bad thing to do. I'm just putting it out there.
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    jordand08
    jordand08 posted in Friends:
    No problem!
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