Dear Dish-It, My BFF stole my BF!
My so-called best friend just started dating my ex. I broke up with him a few months ago but my friend knows I still have feelings for him and I was thinking about getting back with him. But before I could she snuck in and started dating him. Is it wrong for me to try to get him back even though they’re a couple now? BF/F-less
Yeah, it would be wrong for you to try to get your ex back now that he is dating someone else. It definitely sucks when a friend moves in on an ex, but it’s not wrong. Your ex was single because you two broke up, and your best friend was single, too. If she likes him and he likes her, it’s silly for you to expect them to stay apart just because you have a dating history with one of them. I can totally understand why you’re hurt, but other than it being a bit uncool in terms of the friendship code, you BFF and your ex haven’t done anything wrong and you really don’t have a good reason to try to split them up now.
What I’m wondering is whether your BFF knew you still had feelings for your ex and were thinking of trying to restart a relationship with him? Did you talk to her about it? If you never said anything, and she didn’t know you wanted him back, trying to steal him back from her now would make you the jerk. But if you did talk to her about it and she did know your feelings about it, I’d say she acted a bit insensitively, in terms of her friendship with you, when she went and started dating him. Still, I have to say, they do have a right to be together if they want to be, no matter what your feelings about it are and no matter what you did or didn’t tell her about your feelings. All you have a right to do now is decide whether she is the kind of friend you want to keep around.
If I were in your shoes, I’d talk to your BFF and try to find out exactly what went down when she hooked up with your ex. Ask her if she knew how you felt and if that was in any way a factor in her decision to start seeing your ex. If she’s truly your BFF, chances are she didn’t make this decision lightly and still does care about your feelings. If she feels any other way about it, it’s probably time to cut your losses and move on – both in terms of your ex and your best friend.
So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.