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Dear Dish-It, How Do I Get Things Back On Track?

Dear Dish-It,

When my GF and I first started dating everything was really exciting. We did tons of stuff together and we were never bored when we were around each other. We pretty much wanted to be together all the time. But lately things have been cooling off between us and I wonder if you could give me some help on how to get the excitement back like when we first met? Cooled Down


Dear Cool,


First thing’s first: few things in love are more exciting or intoxicating than the intense feelings that come at the very beginning of a relationship. These are the feelings that bond two people together and make them feel close when, in fact, they haven’t known each other long enough to feel that close at all. These first feelings of love are important to experience because they make you want to know more about the other person and be truly close to them. These intense feelings also drive you to spend lots of time together, which obviously brings you closer.


However, once this “honeymoon period” of a relationship is over, many couples feel let down and, like you, find themselves wishing for those happier times they felt when they first met each other. Trust me, this is totally normal! The reality is, as you get closer and closer to the person you are dating, you get to know more about them – the things you like and the things you don’t like, too. The good news is, you know your relationship has passed its first milestone when you get to the point of wanting to be together despite the things you don’t really love about each other. Most relationships fizzle out at this point, but the solid ones start to really build into something real and long-lasting after those raw first emotions wear out.


A lot of us confuse those intense first feelings of attraction for love. Sadly, they don’t mean love at all. Think about it. You can’t truly love someone you know nothing about. You can’t love someone based only on physical attraction, either. You have to know a person, inside and out, before you can really say you’re in love.


What you’re experience right now, CD, is a milestone moment in your relationship. You need to stop and ask yourself, “Do I really care about my girlfriend or was I only in it out of lust or physical attraction?” If you really care about her and you can get past the need to feel those intense feelings, I promise you’ll find that the next stage of your relationship is even better than the first. All you need to do is shift your expectations and start focusing on what you’ve gained by being with your girlfriend rather than what you feel you’ve lost.


And don’t be too down. Those intense, exciting feelings come and go in waves – not only will you feel them again, you’ll also see that they are even more satisfying when you’re with someone you truly know and love. My advice is give it some time, figure out your feelings and everything else will happen on its own.


And remember: love is always better than lust.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.


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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    CoolerThanMyself
    I'm a 12 year old girl with really strict parents! I do chores( even handling BLEACH sometimes) , I take care of my little brother, I'm in top set for all my classes- even on the gifted and talented register and I've only ever had 1 detention- and that was their fault anyway bc I was late( they drive). But, I'm still NEVER allowed out with my friends! My friends are all in top sets as well, are well behaved and all we literally would do is window shopping. I mean, there are my age smoking shisha and doing #####- they should be lucky I'm not a delinquent! But my parents always say I can't hang out. Not because they're worried about my safety, they just dont want me to go out.! Even sleepovers, my parents always say no because they ' haven't met the parents" but they make NO effort to do so. I'm losing out on knowing my friends better and whilst they're all making best friends, at school I'm just the person in the background- the left out friend. It hurts and most of the time I wish I was fostered or something. How can I make them loosen up? ( don't say anything about sneaking out because I chose life)
    reply about 15 hours
    Corps
    Corps posted in Style:
    Thank You Mate :)
    reply about 21 hours
    Kirsteeeeen
    Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
    Is there a particular reason or situation causing you to feel this way? I can't provide much advice other than talk to them about it. Communication is important.
    reply 1 day
    Arenl
    Arenl posted in Friends:
    He is a jerk, but then what ?? He is your best friend . Maybe you should tell him to sleep for an extra hour. It may be a lack of sleep.
    reply 1 day
    KittyCheshire
    KittyCheshire posted in Friends:
    My BFFEL (best friend for eternal life) is being a jerk after we have been friends for a long time. What should I do?
    reply 1 day