-
x

Meet New Friends!

Recommended friends are based on your interests. Make sure they are up to date.

Friends ff8c072dd79a91c1300f032d674241a8d64367100ffb1f25fa3f9bec4a05319f
Kidzworld Logo

Dear Dish-It, How Do I Get Things Back On Track?

Dear Dish-It,

When my GF and I first started dating everything was really exciting. We did tons of stuff together and we were never bored when we were around each other. We pretty much wanted to be together all the time. But lately things have been cooling off between us and I wonder if you could give me some help on how to get the excitement back like when we first met? Cooled Down


Dear Cool,


First thing’s first: few things in love are more exciting or intoxicating than the intense feelings that come at the very beginning of a relationship. These are the feelings that bond two people together and make them feel close when, in fact, they haven’t known each other long enough to feel that close at all. These first feelings of love are important to experience because they make you want to know more about the other person and be truly close to them. These intense feelings also drive you to spend lots of time together, which obviously brings you closer.


However, once this “honeymoon period” of a relationship is over, many couples feel let down and, like you, find themselves wishing for those happier times they felt when they first met each other. Trust me, this is totally normal! The reality is, as you get closer and closer to the person you are dating, you get to know more about them – the things you like and the things you don’t like, too. The good news is, you know your relationship has passed its first milestone when you get to the point of wanting to be together despite the things you don’t really love about each other. Most relationships fizzle out at this point, but the solid ones start to really build into something real and long-lasting after those raw first emotions wear out.


A lot of us confuse those intense first feelings of attraction for love. Sadly, they don’t mean love at all. Think about it. You can’t truly love someone you know nothing about. You can’t love someone based only on physical attraction, either. You have to know a person, inside and out, before you can really say you’re in love.


What you’re experience right now, CD, is a milestone moment in your relationship. You need to stop and ask yourself, “Do I really care about my girlfriend or was I only in it out of lust or physical attraction?” If you really care about her and you can get past the need to feel those intense feelings, I promise you’ll find that the next stage of your relationship is even better than the first. All you need to do is shift your expectations and start focusing on what you’ve gained by being with your girlfriend rather than what you feel you’ve lost.


And don’t be too down. Those intense, exciting feelings come and go in waves – not only will you feel them again, you’ll also see that they are even more satisfying when you’re with someone you truly know and love. My advice is give it some time, figure out your feelings and everything else will happen on its own.


And remember: love is always better than lust.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.


Related Stories:

  • Jackie’s Love Life
  • What My GF Doesn’t Know
  • I’m In Love With A Goth
  • Does Race Matter?
  • More Great Advice from Dish-It!
  • 1 Comment

    Related Stories

    Klutz has cool books that will keep you entertained for hours. We've reviewed two that will teach...
    F1121458238109

    Have You Ever Been in Love?

    • Yes.
    • No.
    • I don't think so...
    • I'm not sure what love is.

    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    CoolAsalah
    "Kirsteeeeen" wrote: I am so sorry for your loss. It must be tough going through this at the moment, losing someone is always a difficult situation. Grief can be unsettling and uncomfortable, but is a normal and necessary part of grieving and getting yourself through these types of things. I encourage you to continue to remember her, whether it be through stories or drawings or other ways you might express your good memories together. You could also do something in her memory such as plant a tree. Healing from loss takes time. There's no magic fix that'll make you feel better overnight. You just have to let yourself go through the process and eventually you will feel better. I promise. I'm also here if you feel like talking about it at any time, just send me a request. ​Tysm [s:sm3/1jw1] [s:sm3/1jw1]
    reply about 23 hours
    Kirsteeeeen
    This is going to sound completely cliche, but the best thing is to just be yourself. You'll make friends no problem. People can tell when you're being genuine or not, and they definitely appreciate you for who you are more than if you tried to be someone else. You got this, it'll be a fun and exciting experience. :)
    reply 2 days
    Kirsteeeeen
    I am so sorry for your loss. It must be tough going through this at the moment, losing someone is always a difficult situation. Grief can be unsettling and uncomfortable, but is a normal and necessary part of grieving and getting yourself through these types of things. I encourage you to continue to remember her, whether it be through stories or drawings or other ways you might express your good memories together. You could also do something in her memory such as plant a tree. Healing from loss takes time. There's no magic fix that'll make you feel better overnight. You just have to let yourself go through the process and eventually you will feel better. I promise. I'm also here if you feel like talking about it at any time, just send me a request.
    reply 2 days
    Kirsteeeeen
    Kirsteeeeen posted in Style:
    On a typical day I wear a pair of ripped jeans and either a hoodie or jacket, and a snapback. The opposite would probably be a dress lmao.
    reply 2 days
    Kirsteeeeen
    Kirsteeeeen posted in Style:
    I also love expensive clothing. Brand names are my thing. But I always shop either during sale times or at second hand stores. Sales are my best friend, honestly. It might be frustrating to wait, but it's worth it in the end. Shop only on sale racks in big stores, and scout out smaller second hand stores that often carry brand names, never worn, but for a cheaper price.
    reply 2 days