Dear Dish-It, How Do I Get Things Back On Track?

Dear Dish-It,

When my GF and I first started dating everything was really exciting. We did tons of stuff together and we were never bored when we were around each other. We pretty much wanted to be together all the time. But lately things have been cooling off between us and I wonder if you could give me some help on how to get the excitement back like when we first met? Cooled Down

Dear Cool,

First thing’s first: few things in love are more exciting or intoxicating than the intense feelings that come at the very beginning of a relationship. These are the feelings that bond two people together and make them feel close when, in fact, they haven’t known each other long enough to feel that close at all. These first feelings of love are important to experience because they make you want to know more about the other person and be truly close to them. These intense feelings also drive you to spend lots of time together, which obviously brings you closer.

However, once this “honeymoon period” of a relationship is over, many couples feel let down and, like you, find themselves wishing for those happier times they felt when they first met each other. Trust me, this is totally normal! The reality is, as you get closer and closer to the person you are dating, you get to know more about them – the things you like and the things you don’t like, too. The good news is, you know your relationship has passed its first milestone when you get to the point of wanting to be together despite the things you don’t really love about each other. Most relationships fizzle out at this point, but the solid ones start to really build into something real and long-lasting after those raw first emotions wear out.

A lot of us confuse those intense first feelings of attraction for love. Sadly, they don’t mean love at all. Think about it. You can’t truly love someone you know nothing about. You can’t love someone based only on physical attraction, either. You have to know a person, inside and out, before you can really say you’re in love.

What you’re experience right now, CD, is a milestone moment in your relationship. You need to stop and ask yourself, “Do I really care about my girlfriend or was I only in it out of lust or physical attraction?” If you really care about her and you can get past the need to feel those intense feelings, I promise you’ll find that the next stage of your relationship is even better than the first. All you need to do is shift your expectations and start focusing on what you’ve gained by being with your girlfriend rather than what you feel you’ve lost.

And don’t be too down. Those intense, exciting feelings come and go in waves – not only will you feel them again, you’ll also see that they are even more satisfying when you’re with someone you truly know and love. My advice is give it some time, figure out your feelings and everything else will happen on its own.

And remember: love is always better than lust.

So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.

Related Stories:

  • Jackie’s Love Life
  • What My GF Doesn’t Know
  • I’m In Love With A Goth
  • Does Race Matter?
  • More Great Advice from Dish-It!
  • 1 Comment

    latest videos


    Have You Ever Been in Love?

    • Yes.
    • No.
    • I don't think so...
    • I'm not sure what love is.

    related stories

    Klutz has cool books that will keep you entertained for hours. We've reviewed two that will teach...

    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    Delancy posted in Friends:
    Calm down. Ignore her. You are YOU, don't let anyone change you. If someone hurts, cry a river and build a bridge over it cx
    reply about 14 hours
    hello dish-it i hope i not bothering rita im 16 year old and i have autism.i get bullyed a lot. this has been happening online.this girl said that i was crazy and that freddie mercury (queen lead singer) wouldnt love me cause i have autism.i am queen and freddie mercury's #1 fan.the girl said no body would believe me and it made me so upset i had a autistic meltdown.what do i do,please help.  
    reply about 15 hours
    EndlessDream posted in Friends:
    Hmmm....Then she mustn't be necessarily "using" you, if she is not getting something in return ( As far as we know of). However, It does sound like she is being extremely unfair. That just might be how she is. Not exactly loyal to anyone. Well, try to talk to her about it and tell her how you feel. And, if it doesn't work out, then she might not be a great friend to hang around with, and maybe you will find someone else who enjoys your company. I hope this helps, and good luck :)
    reply 1 day
    XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
    No not really. Like I said, one minute she's all smiley and then she doesn't even look at me. Most of the time I see her with Daniela and Andrea. Today she was asking me if I was going to hang out with her, Daniela, Andrea and Luisa during recess. When I told her that I was 'going to have to think' she was like, "Whatever." and ran off to catch up with the Threesome. Thanks. :)
    reply 2 days
    EndlessDream posted in Friends:
    Is she asking you to do things for her? Like help with homework, carry her books and so on?
    reply 2 days

    play online games