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Dear Dish-It, How Do I Get Over Being Dumped For No Reason?

Being Dumped Always Hurts

Dear Dish-It,

I was with my boyfriend for 7 months and one day he just dumped me when I got to school in the morning. It was a total shock to me as I thought we were really happy. I feel really shocked and I don’t know how to deal. I asked him why but he won’t give me a straight answer and now he’s starting to ignore my calls and e-mails. I’m afraid I’ll never know why this happened so how can I get closure and move on? Trashed


Dear Trashed,


I’m so sorry to hear your news. Being dumped hurts, whether you know why it’s happened or not. I’m afraid there’s no easy way to deal with this and no advice I can give you will make you feel better about it. I promise time will heal you and make you feel better, but you need to be patient about that.


In terms of finding out the reason why he dumped you, I wouldn’t worry about that too much. Sure, it would be nice to have a solid answer from him, but what you need to do is ask yourself: would it really make it any easier?


I think that by holding on to this lack of closure, what you’re actually doing is holding on to the relationship, even though it’s over. Trust me, you won’t be able to heal and move on until you let go.


The first thing I think you should do is accept the fact that your relationship is over. Mourn the loss and commit to moving on. Once you’ve done that (and be honest with yourself), if you still feel you must know the reason why he broke up with you, brace yourself and ask him one more time to be brutally honest with you. But be prepared to hear whatever it is he has to say. Chances are he’s keeping his reasons from you in order to spare your feelings. If that’s the case, try telling him he’s hurting you more by not being open with you and keeping you in the dark. Tell him you’d rather just know the truth.


If he doesn’t want to tell you anything at this point, I say drop it. And if he does decide to open up to you, you should know you are not going to like what he has to say. No matter what it is, it will be connected to his decision for breaking up with you – a decision that you never liked or agreed with. You will most likely not feel any better after confronting him. Even if you think that by knowing the real reason you will be able to prevent the same thing from happening in the future, I’m here to tell you that’s not the case. If you think he can give you any advice about what you need to “fix” about yourself or your future relationships, you’re very wrong. You need to let go and move on and forget about any tips he may have for you.


If this doesn’t make sense to you, think of it this way. If there really was anything he felt needed to be fixed and he wanted to stay with you, he would have come to you and you would have worked on those problems together. But he didn’t want to work anything out – he just wanted out. You need to accept that, and you also need to come to terms with the fact that, just like you have the right to live your life any way you want to, he has the right to live his life as he wants to, even if that means living his life without you. That’s his decision to make, not yours. So the best thing you can do now is forget about him, forget about what his reasons for dumping you could be, and move on. Let him go and focus your energy on finding someone who really wants to be with you – just the way you are.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.


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    Comments

    Realest_Brook

    Realest_Brook wrote:

    Cuss his azz out lol jp, if u really loved this person u can't get over it. :/
    commented: Sat Jun 07, 2014

    whatdaheck

    whatdaheck wrote:

    ride on a pony..u'll get over it
    commented: Sun May 19, 2013

    -ZeroHero-

    -ZeroHero- wrote:

    fly to the moon~
    commented: Sun May 19, 2013

    there are 4 more comments

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    BadwolfDW
    BadwolfDW posted in Friends:
    So i  agree with miley15 i think you guys should all meet up and tell them they can't leave or interrupt each other untill the issue is resolved let girl 2 know that the more she askes the less girl 1 will want to be her friend , also tell girl 1 that she shouldn't just run away.  Girl 1 is trying to be friends with girl2 but  i mean they dont need to bff's but they should not make a big deal of each other. 
    reply about 12 hours
    sugarpetals
    my parents would be around 7
    reply about 14 hours
    Pink_Kitty
    My parents are very lenient about chores and messing around but they are NOT lenient at all about lying, respect, homework or safety stuff.
    reply about 14 hours
    miley15
    miley15 posted in Friends:
    ahaaaa...that's sorta confusing and annoying at the same time...but don't u think if they were really your friends they would listen to u? if they are really interested in being friend with u so tell em that u cannot stand this situation anymore and ask them politely but firmly to try to understand each other...or ur friendship will be ruined...i'm sure talking always solves any problems...
    reply about 14 hours
    avatar-me
    avatar-me posted in Friends:
    Ok here's what's going on. Girl1 (my best friend) can't stand girl2 (my other friend). And girl2 wants to be friends with girl1 but girl1 doesn't want to be friends with girl2. And girl2 keeps messaging girl1 and girl1 keeps telling her she doesn't want to be her friend. got you confused yet?  So this is what is making me write this. My best friend said that if I keep hanging around my other friend she will try to be nice. But every time those two are in the same place girl2 asks girl1 why they can't be friends and that just sets girl1 off. And then I have to stop it. I love how my best friend is willing to hang around my other friend for me but I hate how my other friend won't stop bringing up why the two of them can't be friends. No matter how much girl1 and I tell her that girl1 doesn't want to be her friend she keeps asking. I like hanging out with both of them but not at the same time and when I hang out with one and not the other they ask why and I spending more time with the other one then with them. I can't take it anymore!!!  Please help me me before I loose it,              avatar-me
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