Dear Dish-It: Bossy BFF

Dear Dish-It,

My best friend is bossy. Should I keep her or kick her to the curb?


Dear AWD,

The thing about friendship – even BEST friendships – is that they have their ups and they have their downs, too, just like those rollercoaster rides you see at amusement parks! In terms of whether or not you should stay best friends with someone who is being mean to you, treating you badly or pushing you around, well, it’s really all up to you.

Of course, having someone be bossy and tell you what to do all the time is never fun. But before you decide to end your friendship with your bossy BFF, you should sit down and think about some things first. Like, how much do you value your friendship with her, besides the bossy part? How long have the two of you been friends? Will you miss her when she’s not your friend anymore? All of these are important things to think about before you pull the plug on your friendship.

Next, you have two options. If you’ve thought it out really well and you’ve come to the conclusion that you just don’t want or need to be friends with her anymore, that’s cool. But if you think you’d like to keep your friendship, the next step is to help your BFF stop being so bossy. You can try confronting her directly about it, writing her a letter or an e-mail, or just dropping subtle hints when she starts ordering you around. My best advice? Don’t let her boss you around. The less you give in to her bossiness the more she’ll realize she can’t treat you badly anymore.

More Great Dish-It Advice:

  • Bully BFF
  • I Don’t Trust My BFF
  • My BFF Won’t Talk To Me
  • My BFF Stole My BF

    latest videos


    Who's the Bossiest Rugrat? Vote!

    • It's totally Tommy who's the bossy one.
    • Angelica is the queen of the bossy babies.
    • Chuckie's the really bossy Rugrat.
    • Spike's the bossy one!

    related stories

    I don't know what to do about my BF. He acts like my father. He tells me what kind of music to li...

    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    EndlessDream posted in Friends:
    Hmmm....Then she mustn't be necessarily "using" you, if she is not getting something in return ( As far as we know of). However, It does sound like she is being extremely unfair. That just might be how she is. Not exactly loyal to anyone. Well, try to talk to her about it and tell her how you feel. And, if it doesn't work out, then she might not be a great friend to hang around with, and maybe you will find someone else who enjoys your company. I hope this helps, and good luck :)
    reply about 10 hours
    XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
    No not really. Like I said, one minute she's all smiley and then she doesn't even look at me. Most of the time I see her with Daniela and Andrea. Today she was asking me if I was going to hang out with her, Daniela, Andrea and Luisa during recess. When I told her that I was 'going to have to think' she was like, "Whatever." and ran off to catch up with the Threesome. Thanks. :)
    reply about 10 hours
    EndlessDream posted in Friends:
    Is she asking you to do things for her? Like help with homework, carry her books and so on?
    reply about 10 hours
    XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
    This is gonna be long:   I have this 'friend' Amelia. She and I bonded really fast last year and we've become inseparable.   But lately she's blowing me off and my other best friend Belen told me: Amelia is actually using you. She does this to new kids at school, especially from foreign countries. She thinks because you're Chinese and the Chinese teacher's daughter, you'll help her. She's also using you as a backup friend - a substitute. There's this new girl Daniela, who Amelia thinks is her new best friend. She thinks that when Daniela stop hanging out with her, she'll have you.   The thing is, Daniela is pretty nice and she probably doesn't know all the trouble she's causing. Belen's old 'best friend' Andrea is doing the same to her.   I also learned that Amelia is seemingly the 'most popular girl in school' because she's mean to everyone. She always passes by the little kids' classrooms and hugs them & stuff. They seem to love her, but now I know it's because they think if they're nice they won't get bullied.   Maybe she WAS using me but I dunno. Belen says that each kid in the entire school has a bad story about Amelia and something she did to them. I said, "Then how was she so nice to me last year?" Then Belen was all like, "She was using you."   I don't know if she's telling the truth. She and Amelia are deadly enemies and she might be making up the whole Amelia story just to get back at her. Although Amelia has been dropping a few signs that she IS using me as a substitute friend.   Sometimes when I walk in, she'll be like "OOOOHHH! CASSANDRA! HI! HOW ARE YOU! C'MON, LOOK AT THIS! WE'RE GONNA HAVE SOOOO MUCH FUN TOGETHER ..."   And other times I'm like, "Hey, Amelia!" and she says, "Oh. Huh? Yeah, hi ..."  Once during PE we had to sit down and on the way to the gym, she was chatting with me in a BBBBFFFF way. But then when we had to partner up she said with Andrea, Daniela and someone else who I forgot.   I don't know what to do. It's just so weird. Even though now I know she MIGHT be using me (I'm not sure if she really is) it just seems WEIRD. Even for a supposed ##### she was my possibly fake best friend for the whole of last year. It's WEIRD to suddenly switch.   I don't even know if this should be happening. We've only just started 5th grade. Doesn't this WEIRD #### start happening around middle school? Thank you, everyone who will help in advance. P.S. Please include flirting advice. - A Girl Who Might Just Lose Her Possibly Fake Best Friend
    reply about 11 hours
    Okay I have school today and my hair is not sitting how I want it to. But my mum says it is sitting fine WHEN ITS NOT! SHE IS NOT LISTENING what do i do?
    reply about 12 hours

    play online games