Dear Dish-It: My BFF Hates Listening To My Problems

Dear Dish-It,

I really need your help. My so-called BFF hates it when I talk about my problems. Like today, she complained when I started to talk about my boyfriend. You see, she had dated him before me and hates when I say his name. She’s been in an on-off mood with me for over a week. I told her that BFFs are supposed to be there for each other but she won’t listen to me!!!


Dear gem365,

It’s pretty clear to me what the problem here is. You are dating your BFF’s ex-boyfriend. What I suggest is that you try and put yourself in HER shoes. How would YOU feel if SHE started dating YOUR ex? I can’t imagine you’d feel very good about it at all. You didn’t mention in your question whether or not you and your BFF talked about you going out with her ex before you started the relationship, but even if you did and she told you she was fine with it, you must see now that it’s not OK with her at all. I think you need to seriously consider who is more important to you: your BFF or your BF? I mean, sure, you can always try and talk to her about it, ask her if she’s got a problem with it and see if you can come up with some sort of solution, but in my experience dating the ex of a friend never works out well. Decide who you need in your life more – your BFF or your BF – and do what you need to do to make sure that person sticks around.

Related Stories:

  • Dear Dish-It: Worried About My BFF
  • Dear Dish-It: My BF Was Looking At By BFF
  • Dear Dish-It: Bossy BFF
  • Dear Dish-It: I Don’t Trust My BFF


    latest videos


    Ever Dated Your Best Friend?

    • Yeah, I've dated my best friend before and it was great.
    • No, that would be really weird.
    • I haven't, but I do have a crush on my best friend.
    • I did, but it didn't work out.

    related stories

    I always thought my best friend's BF was cute. A couple of days after they broke up, I found out ...

    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    EndlessDream posted in Friends:
    Hmmm....Then she mustn't be necessarily "using" you, if she is not getting something in return ( As far as we know of). However, It does sound like she is being extremely unfair. That just might be how she is. Not exactly loyal to anyone. Well, try to talk to her about it and tell her how you feel. And, if it doesn't work out, then she might not be a great friend to hang around with, and maybe you will find someone else who enjoys your company. I hope this helps, and good luck :)
    reply about 6 hours
    XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
    No not really. Like I said, one minute she's all smiley and then she doesn't even look at me. Most of the time I see her with Daniela and Andrea. Today she was asking me if I was going to hang out with her, Daniela, Andrea and Luisa during recess. When I told her that I was 'going to have to think' she was like, "Whatever." and ran off to catch up with the Threesome. Thanks. :)
    reply about 6 hours
    EndlessDream posted in Friends:
    Is she asking you to do things for her? Like help with homework, carry her books and so on?
    reply about 6 hours
    XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
    This is gonna be long:   I have this 'friend' Amelia. She and I bonded really fast last year and we've become inseparable.   But lately she's blowing me off and my other best friend Belen told me: Amelia is actually using you. She does this to new kids at school, especially from foreign countries. She thinks because you're Chinese and the Chinese teacher's daughter, you'll help her. She's also using you as a backup friend - a substitute. There's this new girl Daniela, who Amelia thinks is her new best friend. She thinks that when Daniela stop hanging out with her, she'll have you.   The thing is, Daniela is pretty nice and she probably doesn't know all the trouble she's causing. Belen's old 'best friend' Andrea is doing the same to her.   I also learned that Amelia is seemingly the 'most popular girl in school' because she's mean to everyone. She always passes by the little kids' classrooms and hugs them & stuff. They seem to love her, but now I know it's because they think if they're nice they won't get bullied.   Maybe she WAS using me but I dunno. Belen says that each kid in the entire school has a bad story about Amelia and something she did to them. I said, "Then how was she so nice to me last year?" Then Belen was all like, "She was using you."   I don't know if she's telling the truth. She and Amelia are deadly enemies and she might be making up the whole Amelia story just to get back at her. Although Amelia has been dropping a few signs that she IS using me as a substitute friend.   Sometimes when I walk in, she'll be like "OOOOHHH! CASSANDRA! HI! HOW ARE YOU! C'MON, LOOK AT THIS! WE'RE GONNA HAVE SOOOO MUCH FUN TOGETHER ..."   And other times I'm like, "Hey, Amelia!" and she says, "Oh. Huh? Yeah, hi ..."  Once during PE we had to sit down and on the way to the gym, she was chatting with me in a BBBBFFFF way. But then when we had to partner up she said with Andrea, Daniela and someone else who I forgot.   I don't know what to do. It's just so weird. Even though now I know she MIGHT be using me (I'm not sure if she really is) it just seems WEIRD. Even for a supposed ##### she was my possibly fake best friend for the whole of last year. It's WEIRD to suddenly switch.   I don't even know if this should be happening. We've only just started 5th grade. Doesn't this WEIRD #### start happening around middle school? Thank you, everyone who will help in advance. P.S. Please include flirting advice. - A Girl Who Might Just Lose Her Possibly Fake Best Friend
    reply about 7 hours
    Okay I have school today and my hair is not sitting how I want it to. But my mum says it is sitting fine WHEN ITS NOT! SHE IS NOT LISTENING what do i do?
    reply about 8 hours

    play online games