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Dear Dish-It: My BFF Hates Listening To My Problems

Dear Dish-It,

I really need your help. My so-called BFF hates it when I talk about my problems. Like today, she complained when I started to talk about my boyfriend. You see, she had dated him before me and hates when I say his name. She’s been in an on-off mood with me for over a week. I told her that BFFs are supposed to be there for each other but she won’t listen to me!!!

gem365


Dear gem365,


It’s pretty clear to me what the problem here is. You are dating your BFF’s ex-boyfriend. What I suggest is that you try and put yourself in HER shoes. How would YOU feel if SHE started dating YOUR ex? I can’t imagine you’d feel very good about it at all. You didn’t mention in your question whether or not you and your BFF talked about you going out with her ex before you started the relationship, but even if you did and she told you she was fine with it, you must see now that it’s not OK with her at all. I think you need to seriously consider who is more important to you: your BFF or your BF? I mean, sure, you can always try and talk to her about it, ask her if she’s got a problem with it and see if you can come up with some sort of solution, but in my experience dating the ex of a friend never works out well. Decide who you need in your life more – your BFF or your BF – and do what you need to do to make sure that person sticks around.



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  • 14 Comments

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    fitta
    "SatanslilDemon" wrote: Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice??? i suggest you wait i mean you are going to be 16 that's way too young to be dating someone who is 4/5 years older than you,no? You can still talk to him when it comes to your anxiety attacks and all of that because I have those too every night so I know how it feels, but maybe you should wait. But at the end of the day it's your decision I'm just here to give advice 
    reply 2 days
    SatanslilDemon
    Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice???
    reply 2 days
    SmartSunnyShadow
    I feel like that too. My best friend will always hang out with her 'new friends' that I have a really bad opinion about. My friend will treat me rudely all the time and sometimes make fun of me with her friends. But, when I needed her the most in my life, she was there for me, and I told her how I felt. She says that she just wants to hang out with more people and apologized, people can be a little teasy at times.  Also, after seeing each other for a long time, people make new friends and start hanging out with them more, it doesn't mean that she doesn't like you.  This may be different for you, but just tell her about it, she will have to know you feelings at one point.  Hope I helped you. 
    reply 3 days