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Sindy's Blog - August 14, 2003

August 14, 2003

I don't even know where to begin. I don't think I've ever felt this bad before in my life. How do I even begin explaining what I am going through? I just had this amazing vacation with my fam and my best friend, was feeling on top of the world and then this happens! OMG!

We didn't get home until late last night but I thought, I haven't seen Dylan in weeks, and I'm sure he'll still be awake so I'll just drop by his place for a quick hello. His parents aren't as freaky about late night visitors as my 'rents are, anyway. So, I head on over, knock on the door and do you know who answers? Sara.

Now, for the record, Sara showed up at our school last semester, all alone with no friends, and I hang out with her. I introduce her to everyone - and it seems like we've become really good friends. Well, now apparently Dylan and Sara are more the good friends. Dylan was feeling lonely while I was gone so he started hangin' with Sara a lot and things "just happened".

Dylan explains this to me in the first five seconds that I'm standing there. I couldn't take bein' near either of them so I did what any normal girl would have done. I started to cry and I ran home. Yeah, I'm really proud of myself. I can't believe I started to cry. What a huge loser I am.

I still don't really know why I am so upset. It's not like we were some long-term, exclusive couple or anything - but I did think we had something. I certainly didn't think I had to worry about him finding someone new in a matter of weeks, especially not one of my friends! What was he thinking? What was I ever thinking by liking him?

I'm going to dig into a big tub of ice cream now and listen to some soulful tunes. I'm not even a fan of the ballads, but it seems like it's time for some good wallowing music. And I'm definitely in the mood for wallowing.

Peace Out,

Sindy

Related Stories:

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    PuppyLover242
    Hmm, okay! Its just that I Love all this new modern things, cute things, chibi stuff, anime pics... and no one else agrees with me? I am like the black sheep or something?
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    Autonomy
    Autonomy posted in Family Issues:
    "StarrChild" wrote: Two years ago my parents broke up. I was never really the same after that point. My mother she began to just not care about anything. She would go out clubbing every Friday and would yell at me for my attitude towards it. Why would I be okay with her doing that??? I didn't really realise it but I began feeling kind of depressed. Of course we didn't fight all the time but when we did I would always end up crying alone in my room. And it would be really painful. One time I cried every night for a week because of her. A week ago, I felt really sick at school so I went to the sick bay but my Mum refused to believe I was sick. She thought I was lying and being over dramatic as usual. I felt really horrible after that, that the teacher sent me to the guidance councellor and almost immediately I burst into tears. I didn't even know why I did but the councellor did a little test on me and came to the conclusion I was slightly depressed and had anxiety. It wasn't really surprising but hearing it out loud just felt really weird. Even after knowing that fact my mother doesn't really act any different. She's not a bad person I swear but she can just be really horrible at times. Anyways, that's technically whats been happening in my life lol. Nothing really interesting Oh dear, that sounds like a dreadful situation. I've lived through similar difficulties in my own life, and my heart goes out to you, truly. May I offer you some advice? I don't have the cure to your problems or a magic wand that can make them disappear, but I do believe that some good can come out of your living situation. The first thing I'd like to make note of, is that everyone makes mistakes. As human beings, we have to make mistakes. There's no way around it; it's how we learn and grow. And as we get older, we don't stop making mistakes. Your parents are no exception. Although we look to our parents for guidance, and direction, and support, we have to understand that they aren't perfect people, and they make mistakes. They may not always lead us in the right direction. They may not always set a good example. They may not always be there for us, to encourage us and support us when we need them most. And that's okay. Everyone makes mistakes, and we have to accept that. But we can't let allow other people's mistakes to hurt us, my dear. And I know it hurts. Your mum might not understand how her actions make you feel. You said you haven't been the same since your parents divorced, and I know how challenging that can be to go through. But you know, some of the brightest, wisest, and happiest people I've met, are people who have dealt with difficult problems in their lives, and used them to grow as people. You can let your parents' mistakes get to you, and make you upset and depressed; or, you can accept that they aren't perfect people, accept that they make mistakes, and accept that their mistakes don't have anything to do with you. So here's what you do, friend: you can't stop your mum from going clubbing, and that's okay. Don't try to. Don't fight with her about it. You can let her know how it makes you feel, but don't get into an argument. Accept the situation for what it is. Your mother is her own person, and she is accountable for what she does; you aren't. Next time you start to get in a fight or an argument with her, just step back, and withdraw yourself. Try it, see what happens. Once you decide not to let other peoples' failings affect you--and you do have the power to do this--then you'll find a sense of peace you probably haven't felt before. And you'll learn from your mistakes, and the mistakes of your parents, and everyone around you, and you'll be a better person. Press on.
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    Dounuts
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    RavenClawRaina
    my ex is going through the same thing. Call the police now. Things will get out of hand. My brothers friend has been living with us for about 2 weeks becuz his dad punched him in the face. Call 911 now. They will help you. Just say you have been abused by your family member and they will take it from there. If you want, add me and we can talk
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    XxRuby_PhoenixxX
    If you are getting abused to the point where you bleed, call the police immediately. This isn't acceptable behavior.
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